'Tis seven days 'til
Christmas and lo! Here I am!
Mailing packages.

Why so late? Indeed,
I ask myself each year, and
The answer is: DUMB.

The line, she is long
The patience, she is short, and
All are so grumpy.

Hey, Lady In Front,
Don't you glare at me! It was
Not I who farted!

Express Lane! Single
Item Only, the sign says.
People cannot read.

Even more must leave
The counter to fill out right
Forms. They, too, are dumb.

Everyone! Listen!
I hear my future head cold
In all y'all's coughs!

"OK if it gets
There the 26th?" asks clerk.
"Yes," said Jewish man.

I find that today
There's no bragging having a
Very large package.

Wincing, the clerk says,
"Ooh, forty-three dollars for
Priority Mail."

Wincing, I reply,
"Ooh, OK, go ahead," and
I leave, dumb and poor.