IF THERE WERE A RESTAURANT NAMED "ELEANOR RIGBY'S"...

...I think the menu might look something like this:



YOU AIN'T NO PUNK YOU PUNK, YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE REAL JUNK?: RUPAUL DRIVES WITH HENRY ROLLINS!

One of the great lessons in life is that, in a sense, "school" never ends. Our days of institutional learning end after a decade or two, but in order to develop to our highest potential, we must invest in the idea that there is wisdom to be gained everywhere, every day, from sometimes the most unexpected of sources. I must thank my lovely Miamian friend Liz Tracy, music editor at Broward-Palm Beach New Times, for bringing such a source to my attention this morning in her blog about the second installment of RuPaul Drives, a new World Of Wonder video series featuring the towering, image-flexible drag queen RuPaul Charles, with guest passenger author-activist-performer and famous punk (Black Flag, Rollins Band) Henry Rollins. In RuPaul Drives, the heels, wigs, and gowns are absent and instead we see RuPaul in everyday clothing, in a decidedly-non-glamourous old red Volvo sedan. I did not expect to learn as much as I did in this 4:37-minute video, but I ended up thinking about what was said between the two men all day long.

I am far more familiar with the career of Mr. Rollins than I am of Mr. Charles', but both are fascinating, unique, multi-talented men, hard-working, successful, and well-respected. Both are 52 years old, and as mentioned in the video, consider themselves to be "lone wolves." RuPaul seems to know Henry well enough to be able to get right to a serious and intensely personal subject -- their common inability to sustain personal relationships -- what RuPaul calls "the final frontier." I've read what Henry has written on the topic before, and he seems to be very self-aware of and honest about his failures and limitations. But at what point does acceptance of past mistakes or a self-diagnosed "lack of character" become a shield against fear of further failure or an excuse not to work harder to become a person of greater maturity, depth, or empathy? There can be a great ease and a kind of comfort to being a lone wolf. You answer only to yourself, no man or woman can tie you down, your options are not limited by the needs or desires or expectations of anyone. You are responsible for yourself, which often is plenty enough on the plate, to be sure. With the majority of relationships ending in some kind of failure, it's easy to see why someone might choose to avoid them. Why cause pain for someone else? Why allow someone into your life, only to have them cause you pain? Isn't it just better to trust in what you know you can succeed in?

But as RuPaul questions Henry's solitary lifestyle, the discussion between the two reminds me of a powerful quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: 
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
At many points in life, unless you fully face those things you fear and fight to defeat them, you will stall out as a person. Fear makes our minds and hearts smaller and harder. We make poor decisions because of fear, and start piling up regrets and sorrows and defenses: endless, excruciating loops of "what ifs" and "if only I had" and "if things were different." Conquering fear, in whatever form it might appear --worrying about taking on a new career, returning to school, dealing with abuse, being able to fall asleep without the light on, or falling in love with someone -- is the necessary work of human beings. When we fail in this, we are truly failing ourselves, and everyone around us. If there is something in your life you are avoiding or feel you cannot handle, THAT is the thing you must move closer TO. THAT is the thing that will unlock the box that is keeping you closed off from being truly free and happy.

Is having a girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse the end-all and be-all of life? Hell, no. But it can be really, really, really, really nice to share your time with someone you care about who cares about you. Who knows, maybe the twentieth time could be the charm, eh, Henry? Well, I don't know, and you don't know. And that's kind of the magic of it all. We still try, and then we fail, and then we try a little harder and a little smarter, and hopefully good comes of the process in the end.

Thanks, RuPaul. I was glad to attend your school today.

RuPaul Drives...Henry Rollins




TWENTY-FOUR WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM PORTAGE (WI.) THRIFT STORES!

One last post in this series of thrift/antiques store strangeness from my annual Wisconsin visit...Badger State, you have not let me down! Here are a few more oddball records -- please to enjoy!

Apparently God also gave them his n' hers eyeliner.


TEN WEIRD ITEMS FROM THE PORTAGE (WI.) ANTIQUES MALL!

I cannot get enough of people's weird old junk! And I mean "junk" as in knick-knacks and stuff, NOT "junk" as in "elderly genitals," let me make that SUPER CLEAR. Anyway, here's a few things I found in the Portage Antiques Mall as my annual trip to Wisconsin is coming to a close. Please to enjoy!

A cookbook about SALT. From an oil company. That doesn't appear to BE a book. But may be something that contains SALT. MY HEAD HURTS.


IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: HERE WE GO 'ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH (WITH MISS TEN)

A lil' photo sweetness today with Miss Ten, picking mulberries at her Grandma's house in the woods of Wisconsin. Please to enjoy!


THIRTY-THREE WEIRD KNICK-KNACKS AND ODDITIES FROM THE COLUMBUS (WI.) ANTIQUE MALL!

More from my annual foray into the vast land of nostalgic treasures that is the Columbus Antique Mall in Columbus, Wisconsin! There are thousands upon thousand of cool items there, but these are some of the oddballs that caught my eye. Click on the photos to enlarge! Please to enjoy!

OH, HAI!


TEN WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM THE COLUMBUS (WI.) ANTIQUES MALL PLUS BONUS PIX FROM DOLLAR TREE!

For the second year in a row I was UNABLE to finish looking through the MASSIVE Columbus Antiques Mall in Columbus, Wisconsin. After completing Floors 2 and 3, my eyes began to blur and I think I  may have hallucinated all the knick-knacks on the shelves forming a evil porcelain army against me. Floor 1 will have to wait for another day. Anyway, I did get lots of pics for you -- enough to make for at least a couple of posts! Today, a few more weird records for ya -- tomorrow, maybe the Evil Porcelain Army! And check out what I found at DOLLAR TREE, too! Please to enjoy!

I think I could write quite a bit about this cover, but I will be succinct: BEST. COVER. EVER.


THIRTY WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM THE ST. VINCENT DE PAUL THRIFT STORE IN OCONOMOWOC, WISCONSIN!

I've been having such a wonderful vacation here in Wisconsin that I have been slacking on getting posts up, but I hope this MEGAPOST™ will satisfy! I did another thrift store run to the St. Vinnie's in my old stomping grounds of Oconomowoc, WI. the other day and was most pleased to find another boatload of unusual old record covers from the dusty past to bring you! Please to enjoy!

With these hands...I SHALL MURRRRRRDERRRRR YOUUUUUUU!


MY VERY SPECIAL ART STYLINGS FROM 1965 & 1966!

It is without question that my mom is a pack rat. Not a hoarder, fortunately, but definitely prone towards saving anything and everything that might someday be wanted by anyone at all anywhere. Also fortunate is that she saved quite a bit of my childhood memorabilia, from napkins I had at my 5th birthday party, to my horrific report cards from high school, to these, some of my early drawings from my preschool years. I thought that they were very funny so I am sharing them with you tonight, only underlining my mom's belief that everything should be saved, SEEEEEEE, because someone DID want it someday! Please to enjoy!

"This is a Stegasaurus, Mama." Marianne, July, 1966


IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: FLOWERS IN AUNT PENNY'S GARDEN

A very simple post today of a few photographs from Aunt Penny's garden in Wisconsin, a little moment of visual loveliness for your day. Please to enjoy!



PUNK PHOTO PARTY IN PEWAUKEE! SEATTLE'S WIMPS VISIT IN WISCONSIN!

Remember when you'd be at the supermarket as a kid and you'd see your 1st Grade teacher there shopping with her husband? You'd be all, YAY I KNOW YOU, and then it would be OH WOW HOW WEIRD, DON'T YOU LIVE AT SCHOOL?, and then it would be both awesome and awkward watching her put Cheerios and a box of tampons in her cart. It was a little like that seeing my pals in fun punk band wimps as they pulled into my vacation driveway in Wisconsin in their Volvo wagon, as we usually only see each other in the dark of night and dank of Seattle clubs. The band is on a three-week national tour supporting their End of Time album release, "Repeat," and their stop in Milwaukee just happened to coincide with my annual family vacation to the land of my birth, so we all decided an afternoon hanging out at Pewaukee Lake would be cool.

It turned out to be a perfect day, sunny with a sweet balmy breeze and the water warm and welcoming. Rachel, Matt, and Dave ate brunch, swam, did laundry, showered, and debated whether or not dog-eating-muskies were truths or tall tales. All in all, it was a great visit and really nice to get a chance just to relax and enjoy each others' company before the band had to head out to play Chicago later that night. Go see them if you can!

We also took a few photos -- click on the photos to enlarge or go to the Flickr set link! Thanks, wimps, for letting me share a little bit of my old stomping grounds with ya!

Wimps Pewaukee Lake Flickr set


IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: MISS TEN PHOTOGRAPHS A WISCONSIN VINTAGE CAR SHOW

Thanks to my dad, a lifelong car collector, I love cars. I love them, yet hate to actually drive them most of the time. But I certainly do appreciate a fine automobile, even if at something of a distance. During our annual family vacation to Wisconsin, we by chance happened to encounter a small-but-sweet vintage car show in a suburb of Milwaukee. I insisted we stop for me to ooh and aah over the shiny beasts, and my daughter Miss Ten took over on the photo duties. Please to enjoy!


THIRTEEN WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM THE GOODWILL IN WAUKESHA, WISCONSIN!

Oh boy! I'm back in Wisconsin again for the next couple of weeks, and made my first trip to a thrift store since I got here late Tuesday night, looking for strange goodies from the past. Today the musty dusty record bin was my favorite location, and I procured some curious covers for you! Please to enjoy!

I wonder if the song "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair" is on this album?



































PHOTOS & SHOW REVIEW: WHITE FENCE, JESSICA PRATT, TWIN PEAKS, & DUDE YORK @ NEUMOS, SEATTLE, WA. 8/4/13

Another night of awesome music at Neumos awaited for me on August 4th with a quirky quad-bill featuring one of my special favorites from the California garage-psych scene, White Fence, Tim Presley's main musical project. Seeing White Fence for me is an event -- I block all other activities from my calendar and nothing short of a raging, fiery Zombie Apocalypse could stop me from attending. Perhaps not even then. I don't think any zombie is a match for me when I MUST see a band. Bring it on, Napoleon Fallapart!






































We started off very nicely with Seattle's own Dude York, a trio who look like they might be into some '80s Brit Pop, but surprise with a heavy cccrrrrunchhhh. The Cure meet Black Sabbath by way of Seattle? Unique and cool. (As always, click on the photos to enlarge and click on the Flickr links to see more!)

Dude York Neumos 8/4/13 Flickr set























Twin Peaks are four teenage (or REAL DAMN CLOSE to teenage) guys from Chicago who play straight-ahead garage rock with tons of energy and heart. I dug 'em a lot -- great performance skills and solid tunes. Who says the youth of America are lost causes? Not me, man!

Twin Peaks Neumos 8/4/13 Flickr set









































A dramatic change in pace and mood came from Californian singer-songwriter Jessica Pratt, whose collection of intimate recordings from 2007 was finally released this year on Tim Presley's Birth Records as a self-titled album. Her phrasing and lyrics remind me of Kate Bush, filtered through the mellowing haze of the late '60s West Coast folk-psych scene -- hypnotic and quietly intense.

Jessica Pratt Neumos 8/4/13 Flickr set































Why do I love White Fence? Although I think it is sometimes difficult to try to explain the emotional connections one can feel through music, perhaps what I like most about Tim Presley's music is that it is both contradictory and complimentary within itself: retro-ly familiar yet utterly unique and modern, lyrically obscure yet emotionally inviting, artistic yet very accessible, with enough garage-psych oomph to keep the airier elements from floating away. Also -- and I've said it before -- I think Presley's skills as a lead guitarist are pretty damn amazing. No one does a left-hand vibrato like this guy. No one. I loved the set from start to finish.

White Fence Neumos 8/4/13 Flickr set


































Thank you Neumos, Michelle Cable at Panache Booking, Kitty Page, and Dude York, Twin Peaks, Jessica Pratt, and extra-big hugs to White Fence! Come back to Seattle soon!

VIDEO: BREAKING BAD AS A MIDDLE SCHOOL MUSICAL

This is Marianne's pal Dena,  taking advantage of the fact that Marianne is stranded on a grounded airplane in Minneapolis to sneak one of my favorite TV shows into this space. I know for a fact that Marianne would very much prefer if she could have updated y'all tonight, but instead I'm all, like, "YO, BITCH, BREAKING BAD!" Please send Marianne your good thoughts, because flight delays suck bigtime.

Breaking Bad returns to AMC for its final eight episodes on August 11, which means August 12 for those of us who don't have believe in cable. I don't really mind waiting a day, but avoiding spoilers is a giant pain if you live online. Netflix now has Season 5A available for streaming, so it's not too late to binge-watch the entire series in your bathrobe if you are so inclined. 

Before Mad Men captured my attention last year via Netflix, I had long forgotten how much fun it is to be part of an active and enthusiastic fan community. Breaking Bad fans not only obsess endlessly about the show on sites like Reddit and tumblr, but they also produce their own artworks, supercuts, and parodies, quite a few of which are awesome. So much do I enjoy and appreciate the creativity and engagement of true Breaking Bad geeks that I keep my own tumblr, Breaking Bad World, as a digital scrapbook.

One of the most recent items I felt compelled to include on my tumblr was this video of Breaking Bad: The Middle School Musical. I have rather low expectations for parodies, but this one made me laugh AND serves as a PG-Rated glimpse of what the show is like for people who can't handle seeing people get their throats cut and other hijinks of that nature. 


I am behind on my deadline to re-watch the show through 5.8 in preparation for next week's premiere, so I don't really have any more time for you bitches. All that's left to say is that I'm looking forward to these episodes like whoa and I'll be terribly sad when it's all over, but all bad things must indeed come to an end. Welcome back, salud and adios, hermanos pollos!





200-WORD MICROFICTION: IT'S NOW OR NEVER

Audra’s annual two-week vacation, spent this year on a Caribbean cruise for “mature singles,” came to an end in a concrete-floored karaoke tourist bar in Nassau. The smell in the place was a spirit-dampening concoction: a mix of stale spilled beer, AXE Body Spray, and wet feet. She stubbed out her cigarette in an ashtray overflowing with butts and peanut shells with a weighted sigh. Monday morning would bring another 50 weeks of staring at shipping invoices on a computer screen, and listening to her co-worker Sandra’s endless, pointless stories about people Audra did not know nor care about even one tiny bit.

A cruise mate, a red-faced man in droopy dad jeans and a tropical shirt that clung to his gut with sweat, stepped up onto the low stage. He weaved slightly as he held the microphone in one hand and a daiquiri in the other, and nodded towards Audra. “Thizz onez fer Audrey, the priddiest woman onna ship!”


As he crooned Elvis Presley’s “It’s Now Or Never” to her to the general disinterest of the other patrons, she gave him a dull smile, wondering if the restroom window might be just big enough for her to squeeze through.

























("It's Now Or Never," Karaoke cover, THE GMBHEART)