Just a few assorted Hipstamatic and Lo-Mob photos from our recent trip to America's Dairyland. Dammit, now I'm hungry.


There's nothing that makes me happier than a good healthy chunk of garage rock, especially when it is HOT OFF THE PRESSES BRAND SPANKIN' NEW! "Vizcaya," the lead track from "Glazin', the second album from Miami's Jacuzzi Boys, is a two-minute hand-clappin', hip-shakin' fuzz-stomp delight, perfect for the last toasty days and rays of summer. This sounds exactly like what I thought music would sound like in my teen future when I was a kid. Sadly, it ended up sounding like Helen Reddy and Styx instead. Shudder. Anyway, I thought I would once again edit up a vintage-style video, so "Vizcaya" gets the full on go-go-So-Fla treatment, courtesy National Airlines, Polaroid, and some anonymous folks' appropriately fuzzy family films.

Jacuzzi Boys, "Vizcaya"

Jacuzzi Boys are heading out on tour in support of "Glazin'" soon, so after you click the link above and buy the album, head over to one of these fine local venues and go see them live! You may count on my presence as Elder Go-Go Girl at the Funhouse show!

Tue - Sep 20/11
Tallahassee, FL Waterworks

Wed - Sep 21/11
New Orleans, LA Siberia

Thu - Sep 22/11 w/ The Wiggins
Houston, TX The Mink

Fri - Sep 23/11
Austin, TX Red 7

Sat - Sep 24/11
Denton, TX Rubber Gloves

Sun - Sep 25/11
Tulsa, OK The Reverb

Tue - Sep 27/11
Tempe, AZ Yucca Tap Room

Wed - Sep 28/11
Palm Springs, CA Dillion Roadhouse

Thu - Sep 29/11
Fullerton, CA The Continental

Fri - Sep 30/11
San Diego, CA Til-Two Club

Sat - Oct 01/11
Los Angeles, CA Blue Star Bar

Sun - Oct 02/11
San Francisco, CA Hemlock Tavern

Mon - Oct 03/11
Seaside, CA The Alternative Lounge

Tue - Oct 04/11
Sacramemto, CA TBA

Thu - Oct 06/11
Portand, OR East End

Fri - Oct 07/11
Seattle, WA Funhouse

Sat - Oct 08/11
Vancouver, BC The Waldorf

Tue - Oct 11/11
St.Paul, MN Turf Club

Wed - Oct 12/11
Milwaukee, WI Cactus Club

Thu - Oct 13/11
Chicago, IL Ultra Lounge

Fri - Oct 14/11
Bloomington, IN The Bishop

Sat - Oct 15/11
Detroit, MI Lager House

Sun - Oct 16/11
Toronto, ON Parts & Labour

Tue - Oct 18/11
Montreal, QC Il Motore

Wed - Oct 19/11
Boston, MA TBA

Thu - Oct 20/11
New York, NY Mercury Lounge

Fri - Oct 21/11 w/ The Beets + Acid Baby Jesus
Brooklyn, NY 285 Kent CMJ

Sat - Oct 22/11
Brooklyn, NY Bruise Cruise Showcase CMJ

Sun - Oct 23/11 w/ Pujol
Philadelphia, PA Kung Fu Necktie

Mon - Oct 24/11
Baltimore, MD Talking Head Club @ Sonar

Wed - Oct 26/11 w/ Davila 666
Cincinatti, OH The Comet

Thu - Oct 27/11 w/ Davila 666
Pittsburg, PA 31st Street Pub

Fri - Oct 28/11
Columbus, OH Ace of Cups

Sat - Oct 29/11
Nashville, TN TBA

Sun - Oct 30/11
Memphis, TN Hi-Tone

Mon - Oct 31/11 w/ Davila 666
Atlanta, GA The Earl


Form, function, feel…these are the things any entrepreneur must consider prior to a product launch. No matter what it is you want to sell, if it’s not properly constructed to serve a need and purpose and then delivered to the right niche, it will fail. Any hungry sales team needs to buddy up to an expert marketer, for he or she is both a hustler and a psychologist.

So…what if what you wanted to sell was ideology? And you wanted to become very, very rich and very, very powerful selling that ideology to millions of people? The delivery system is key, as well as knowing how to target the needs and fears of an under-recognized population so they can connect strongly to your message. They need to buy in 100%, or it won’t work. This is far easier than one might think. The beauty, or horror, is in the details.

FUNCTION: To build an effective, comprehensive, consistent ideological delivery system that will be accessible to as close to 100% of a general population as possible, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, year-round.

FORM: A multi-media strategy is necessary for true population saturation. A non-premium television network + Internet will reach nearly every American household. Using these already-extensive networks, construct a 24-hr. news channel, which gives the ideology natural credibility with viewers.

FEEL: You must stand out from the competing news channels, and the simplest, cheapest way to achieve that is through vibrancy and stridency, grabbing both visual and emotional attention. Play on intrinsic nationalism and foster a sense of safety and goodness by creating graphics and sets that use the American “red, white, and blue” theme exclusively. Make screen text bold and easy to read, with sensationalist buzzwords and headlines that will draw the curious. Your news presenters should be well-groomed and professionally dressed, but not so much so that they appear elitist, academic, or overly trendy. Report the ideology as irrefutable, given fact by manipulating data, often using small groups of concurring “experts” to give each story weight. Invest viewers into the ideology through fear-based news piece construction; an “us-against-them” tone which suggests apocalyptic consequences should other ideologies rise and spread. Repeat stories often, building a sense of trust and acceptance through that repetition. Presenters, guests, reporters all may often raise their voices, the loudness imparting passion, conviction, and certainty, and that there is nobility in the fight against “them.” Occasionally throw in a “puff” or “feel good” piece to keep the emotional level at simmer, not boil. Cultivate alliances with like-minded sponsors, corporations, media professionals, entertainment and sports celebrities, and government officials. In every piece, design language and phrases for the “Average Joe,” which will be traditionally authoritarian yet “down-to-earth,” with a conspiratorial tone of “this is how we real Americans think.” Give no praise or support to other ideologies without taking a harder sideswipe at them at the same time. Never once waiver from absolute conviction in the message, and use disrespectful, mocking terms towards those who are not believers in the ideology.

And finally, come up with a news catchphrase that, while a complete and utter lie, makes people desperate for a sense of control in a rapidly-changing world believe you tell the truth.


At last, I get around to making a little video for the song I did in May with my Twitter friend Edgar W. Hopper (which you may read about here). Thank you, Little Audrey and Porky Pig!

"Cupcake Guy" - Marianne


Her bedtime, we board
Grabbing the last of the Western sun.
Jet exhaust, stagnant air
“Insert the metal buckle into the clasp”
“Your nearest exit may be behind you”
She pops her head up, swivels to look
Pops down again, tightens her belt.

Tired, she leans on my arm
Sandwiched between me and a stranger
Who plays a game on his iPad
Relived the girl next to him is no longer an infant.
Me, too.

I don’t.

I sit and watch the heads all around me
Bob around in the bumpy air
Until I am the only one
Left awake.
The hum of the engine
The clatter of the drink cart
The cabin dark save for “No Smoking” lights.
“Pretzels, peanuts, cookies?”
Whispered; no one takes any.

An hour goes by; oh, how my arm aches!
I move.
She wakes only just enough to rebuke me
Not really even seeing it is me at all.
Not even remembering she is on an airplane
Or that she will be in her own bed in three more hours
And falls asleep again.
I sigh
And stare at the Exit Row
In front of me, which is
The closest one after all.


Yesterday, I went to the local St. Vincent's thrift store in search of more odd goodness, and succeeded in my quest. Oh, the temptation was high to purchase all of these old albums. I whipped out the iPhone instead.

If you are a parent and you bought any of these for your children, I question your parenting skills. If you bought them for yourself, I question your sanity.

I like to think of this as some kind of evil demand: "DANCE TO SWING ORGAN!!!" NOW!!!! MUAH HA HA HA HA!!!!"

"Beyond the Sea: The Haunting Melodies of Far Away Places" for "dynamic organ?" I'm trying to imagine what the hell this sounds like, but cannot.

This is not worth a quarter.

Male? Female? Kid? Adult? I DON'T KNOW!!! AAAAAAHHH! HEINTJE!

Sorry, Mr. Groper, "Twilight Time" looks more like "Back off, Jerk!" Time.

And "Reverie" looks more like "I Am A Heroin Addict Nodding Out On The Beach."

I try hard to imagine the original purchaser for this, thrilled to be gifted by the talents of Merlin's magic fingers on the pipe organ in hi-fi. Again, I get nowhere.

The Disembodied Stein Heads of Burl Ives. Cheers.

"Floyd, tell ya what. Let's grab some of that teeny-bopper money and cash in on this long-haired Beatle freak music. Work up some covers of those Monkees boys! It'll sell a million for sure!"

These must have been owned by someone who grew up sitting and listening to people in church and on the radio telling them important lessons of life and stuff. Would you ever listen to these more than once?

I generally do not think of world percussion as romantic. Perhaps I should.

"Ultraphonic high fidelity?" I doubt that, but the cover is cool.


Oh boy! Lucky! (An indicator of my age is that I know who Mr. C. is here.) (No, I'm not going to tell you if you don't know.) (Ha!)

And we end up, Wisconsin-style, with the polka.


Gorgeous day here on our annual Wisconsin vacation, and Mr13 and MissEight were fortunate enough to have their Aunt Penny come over for an afternoon of fishing Pewaukee Lake off our dock. We were joined by a posse of lady ducks, a dragonfly, some floaty seagulls, a bucket of writhing fresh worms, and bumblebees who were totally in love with flowers and not us. MissEight became Queen of the Sunfish, Aunt Penny caught a sizable bass, and Mr13 was happy enough with a perch and a bluegill.

Here's the Video of the Day! You can watch it here or HERE on Vimeo! The song is "Too Many Fish in the Sea" by the Young Rascals.

Back to Seattle tomorrow night. I can hear the fish relief bubbling up, I swear.


I was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but high-tailed it out of the big city to small-town life just a few days later, landing in Delafield, Wisconsin, where I lived my first nine years. Like so many in the area, it was surrounded by lakes and farms, with a small "downtown" featuring a grocery store, drug store, a couple of gas stations, and several bars/bait shops. I liked growing up in Delafield, and desperately did not want to move away, but at 9, you just gotta go when your folks say you gotta go.

In the 40 years that have followed, Delafield has seen many changes, but maybe not quite as many as I might have feared. Many of the charming houses are still there; it is still small, still quiet, still pretty. The updating that has been done has been particularly good, with solid, traditional architecture that blends well with the older structures. We had a couple of hours to spend on our vacation here as we wished, so I thought I'd take MissEight to two of the places I hadn't seen since I moved away.

"City Hall?" she asked me. "Why are we going to City Hall?" Definitely a fair question. I knew something was there that would be nice to see. As we walked up, I noticed that the Old City Hall had been replaced with a very nice New City Hall, combined with the New Library that was once down a different street. Right in the main hallway separating the two entities, was the Gallery of Mayors. And there, at the top and in the middle, my dad, MissEight's grandfather, who was A Mayor of Delafield in the '60s. He died in 1993, nine years before MissEight was born.

I know my dad would be pleased that his picture is still there, and MissEight was pleased to see it as well.

The next stop was Fireman's Park, where I used to play and hang out while the boys played Little League games. It was, and still is, immaculately maintained. I was completely delighted to see that the swings, the fire truck structure, and the tiny slide remained, the very same ones I used for hours on summer nights, until the sun was going down and my folks were telling me we had to go now, come on!

I tried, 40 years later, to do a pull-up on the same bar where I tried and failed as a kid, failed again completely, and smiled. I left the park to a young curly blonde-haired mom, who was running after her blonde toddler girl, while she carried a blonde baby girl.