The best thing, I think, to any given day are the little surprises that come my way – the good ones, not the crappy ones like a tax audit or a tsunami. Today’s unexpected fun came from some Twitter banter, which turned into @Gbowdish tossing some rather mind-boggling German advertising my way. I usually count on Japan for the inexplicable and peculiar in almost any medium, but today I am going to pass along a few of these ads, some completely bizarre, and some rather beautiful in surrealist strangeness.

Let’s just start right off with the COMPLETELY BIZARRE. From the Krugmann Markenspirituosen family distillery, we are brought “Little Krugy.” From their site:

“Hello y'all,
My name is Krugy.

I am the delicious Vanilla-Caramel flavored cream-liqueur (alc 15% by vol) in its unique
bottle. THE TRUE ADULT BEVERAGE. I have become the "Talk of the Town" and
"the Hit of the Party".
I am traveling around the world one country at the time - and now

I have arrived in America.

You find me in trend setting cities to see and be seen; "swing'ng the
slopes" and "riding the waves" at the best resorts; see me sailing all the cruise- and party
ships; catch me "krug'ng" to Key West, danc'ng in the Streets of New Orleans and
leaving my heart in San Francisco.

Do your friends know about me yet? Why not let them know by sending
them a cute little email card from me?

In the meantime, have fun visiting my website and I'll see you soon in
your favorite hang-out place.

"little Krugy"

Forget the clumpy strangely-dated English. Want to see what the “Little Krugy” mascot looks like?

Yes. Yes, that’s right. Little Klugy is a smiling sperm cell. Now, you tell me: would you be enticed to purchase a beverage associated with the MALE REPRODUCTIVE EMISSION? Oh, how I would like to have an awkward broken English-German conversation with the person responsible for this ad campaign. The only problem would be that I might laugh a lung out, killing myself, and thereby never be able to experience the…the…possibly unique taste of the Little Krugy beverage. Let’s move on.

Not mentioning the war, we have this film for Schall und Rauch German cigarettes, from 1933, by animator Hans Fischerkoesen. This is one of the most weirdly artful commercials I’ve seen, with classical music, silhouettes, and plumes of tobacco smoke that become swirling apparitional dancing ballerinas. I’m assuming Schall und Rauch wasn’t cut with opium.

Continuing with the dramatic and weird, we have another Fischerkoesen production from a German ale manufacturer, a mini-movie from what looks to be the 1950s. We see a young woman trapped in a terrible nightmare, with drapey ghosts and violinist skeletons chasing her, only for her to wake to a sunny morn and the golden glow of a freshly-poured Underberg Beer. Is the idea, escape the nightmare that is post-WWII Germany by starting to drink at 7AM? Seems reasonable to me, really.

We will finish up here with this mod and disturbing German AFRI-COLA commercial from 1968, featuring creepy music, topical sexual social commentary, and hot chicks. Afri-Cola??? Do they sell Deutsche-Drink in Nigeria?

God, I hope I don’t dream about Little Krugy tonight.