Tiger Woods lives up to his last name and some of his golf clubs, all in one gushing female tribute, Queen Elizabeth threatens paparazzi (what's she gonna do? beat them to death with a hat?), someone wondered for even a fraction of a second what's happening with Paris Hilton, Carnival's first "Cougar Cruise" should be subtitled "Fish In A (Floating) Barrel."

I suggest Tiger and the Queen sign up for the cruise, while no one takes photographs of Paris Hilton. There.