CRASSMUS EEF

All in all, not a bad December 24. MissSeven did come into my room at 6:48AM to ask, IS THIS THE DAY WHEN SANTA COMES? and I went MMMPH GUHH NOT UNTIL TOMORROW, GO BACK TO BED, and she said OK. I did not suffer a hangover from last night's Festivus celebration, although my eyes look like some kind of disturbing sushi item, maybe bagfish. Most of the gifts are wrapped and under the tree, save a few more that I will deal with after the kids are asleep tonight. I am going to have to figure out how to stuff a very loud squawking rubber chicken into a stocking. I was thinking of putting a whole stick of butter into MissSeven's stocking because she asked for that. It would be a classic moment to have her reach in there, all aglow with Christmas excitement, and then squeeze the warm mushy butter stick in her hand, confused and possibly appalled. I would so do it except that I would have to clean it all up. So many good things are ruined because of clean up and/or jail time.

It was sunny and pleasant here today so late in the afternoon I went to the OOGCP for a gingerbread latte and a yummy piece of quiche. After that, off to Walgreens to get a few small last-minute picked-over items along with the rest of the holiday fail folks like me. I paused to look at this item, and would have bought it for Couch Teen's stocking if it weren't 20 bucks:



I stood there for a minute, grinning at the pic of the old dude on the box. He looks so supremely happy to be able to leak into this device, doesn't he? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The girl at the Walgreens checkout took my items with a chubby impassive face, some kind of plastic Christmas greenery attached to the side of her head. She brightened up considerably when she saw my shirt:



"Ooh, The Dandy Warhols!" she smiled at me. I smiled back and gave her the thumbs-up. She said no more about the band, and I gratefully slunk off with my purchases.

Then it was off to the very very busy Whole Foods, where all of hipsterdom apparently was shopping for holiday foods. Their pre-packeded sushi will do for Christmas Eve dinner, as everyone here is full of Grandma's Chex Mix and assorted chocolate extravagances anyway. Three bags of food = $182.78.

The house is trashed out with shipping boxes and wrapping paper remnants and the last two loads of laundry to be done, the kids are happily watching a Simpsons DVD, Couch Teen is asking me to wrap a box of chocolates for his girlfriend's parents. He knows I do a pretty shitty job of wrapping, but that he is even worse at it. The dog is sniffing around for dropped food, our one strand of blue Christmas lights glows sarcastically in the night outside, and no one has a cold or the flu or is in jail.

Come on down, Santa; we've ready.