HOO BOY. There isn't much cheesier of a musical instrument than the highly-annoying keytar. If you've already buried this information in the sewer canals of your brain, let me again remind you that a keytar is a small keyboard (often a synthesizer) worn across the body like a guitar. It was fairly popular with bad bands in the '80s and current airport hotel lounge acts. Wearing a keytar onstage seemed to provoke usually stationary keyboardists to particularly bold and spastic rock moves. Today we shall watch a few keytarists in their element, while Lucifer fires up the grill. I'd ask you to please to enjoy, but since I got a headache just by having to listen to these to get them posted, I know better.

This woman seems to have ingested 1,000,000 cups of coffee. Although this clip is likely 25 or more years old, I bet she is STILL GOING HERE. Her sexy dress doesn't even begin to make up for the libido-killer that is the sound of this instrument.

Hyper Keytar Woman

This guy thought he'd do a Michael Jackson song medley in honor of Ol' Glovey's passing. To me this sounds like a plague of locusts all playing PacMan.

Michael Jackson Keytar Guy

Howard J. Foster even admits these are "Shred Arpeggios From Hell," and I couldn't agree more. Can you imagine someone playing this over the P.A. at the DMV while everyone stood in line? I have a cruel streak, I know.

Shred Arpeggios From Hell

HAHA! The audience reaction at 0:22.

Indian Keytar Guy

I'm sorry, this stupid-looking hunk of white, out-of-tune plastic doesn't help your metal image, sir. Keytar headbanging?

Iron Maiden Keytar Guy

And finally, I sincerely hope that this ending video isn't the last thing you ever hear in your life. That would really be unfortunate.

Kids Keytar