I've got your answer. Find a partner, and practice the Lindy Hop just like this from the 1941 film "Hellzapopppin'" everyday for a year. I guarantee that by the end of 2011 your BMI will be like, I dunno, 1 or something. I think you could consume Super Extra Big Giant Value Pack Meals at McDonald's and still stay skinny. I think you could shove a baker's dozen of doughnuts down your gullet with a ramrod every 15 minutes and still stay skinny. I think you could drink the deep-fryer grease from every KFC in a 50-mile radius DAILY and still stay skinny.

But if you don't want to do that, you can listen to So So Glos "Lindy Hop" and look at a picture of a unicorn against a raging sunset from last night. I'm not sure you'll be able to get away with the doughnuts, though.