This I do for you, because I know you are all too busy and such to read things that aren’t about vampires or people with multiple tattoos. Here’s what’s going on in the world today, says CNN:

* Donny Osmond doesn’t care for the sex and violence in Lady Gaga and Beyonce’s new video, and in defiance Beyonce is reportedly not pregnant.

* Shockingly, gay teens are harassed in Mississippi. The military beckons now.

* Cooking food for kids is better than stuffing them full of McDonald’s or Otter Pops.

* People died in places where there are active wars going on.

* Jesse James liked the Tiger Woods model of marriage.

* A guy who likes to think for a living says “imagine no religion” and the Vatican doesn’t like people saying bad stuff about abusive pedophile priests.

* Killer bees and Mexican drug cartels are pushing north into the U.S., possibly in tandem.

* Roger Ebert’s old TV show got canceled and Sarah Palin got a new TV show, unfortunately not called “I Am Even Worse For Alaska Than The Exxon Valdez.”

* While most of Korea is busy playing internet games, one of its Navy ships is sinking to its watery demise.

* Drunken teenagers wrecked a house, and Dr. Gupta says brain injuries in children can be serious.

* Dennis Hopper is getting a star on Hollywood Boulevard, so he can die in peace knowing that new generations will be able to walk, spit, and crush cigarettes out on his name in the sidewalk for years to come.

* There was an election in Iraq that probably won’t turn out so well for some guys.

* A former model now has something to do with drugs; a woman who lost 100 pounds is now not a model.

Now go back to whatever it is you are supposed to be doing. Especially you, Korea.