The Chilean earthquake may have shortened all our Earthly days forevermore, but who cares when we’ve got SMALL TOWN POLICE BLOTTER ROUND-UP for the month! Vamos!


Lewd,Lascivious: Police cited a man who was sitting in his truck naked in the parking lot in front of the former Stark Candy plant Feb. 28.

According to the report, an officer on patrol saw a man in a vehicle in the parking lot of the company, 700 Hickory St. The officer was suspicious because the company has been closed for nearly two years. The officer turned around and saw the pickup truck was driving off, and the officer stopped it. The officer saw the driver, Dale Effertz, 45, of Brookfield, had only a jacket over him and in fact he was naked.

Effertz admitted to police he had been masturbating. Effertz said that on Sundays he normally watches trains go by from that location. He was cited for lewd and lascivious behavior.

Indecent Exposure
: A 53-year-old woman in the 6600 block of Windsor told police that, at 6:50 AM, a male neighbor, known to her only by his first name, knocked at her front door. When the woman answered the door, the man asked her whether she had a small stand for his TV. As the woman looked around for something to give him to use as a TV stand, she noticed the man—clad in naught but a T-shirt and boxer shorts—had his penis protruding through the slit in the boxers. When the victim pointed out his exposure, the man told her it was an accident, then put his arms around her and stated, “We are two lonely people.” After the man left, the woman complained to the landlord, who told her to call police.

Public Urination
: An officer witnessed a man walk out from behind a fence at an apartment complex on Miner Drive around 7:32 p.m. on Jan. 23. Upon speaking with the officer, the man confirmed that he had urinated behind the fence. The officer determined that nobody would have been able to see the man urinating, so the offender was only given a warning.

Indecent Exposure: Police received report of a man walking in the road on W. Friendship St. around 11:09 a.m., Jan. 12, with his pants dropped to his ankles. Was it in honor of American Idol-sensation Larry Platt’s comical song “Pants on the Ground”? That much is unclear. The man got into a red truck and rode away before police arrived.

DUI: Renee Terry, 40, of Fairbury, Ill. was charged with DUI after police allegedly saw her silver 2010 Ford Windstar veer across the yellow line on 16th St. She allegedly told police that she had been visiting her mother in the hospital and had left her drivers license at home. When she urinated in her pants during field sobriety tests, she explained that she was “nervous.” She was charged with driving with license suspended, DUI and driving with an open jug of beer in the car.


Theft: Police are investigating the theft of $90 worth of razor blades from Walmart, 411 Pewaukee Road March 1. A man, about 30 years old, was seen taking the razors and left in a car.


Vandalism: Police cited Michael G. Johnson, 20, of Cudahy for vandalism after he allegedly trashed a motel room Jan. 24.

According to the report, Johnson rented a room at La Belle Motel, N57 W39755 Wisconsin Ave., and then damaged the room. The damage included substances thrown on the television and refrigerator, garbage strewn about, and cigarette butts and ashes throughout the room. An estimate for damages was not listed.

Disturbance: A Medina resident told police that a group of children were smashing a guitar in the roadway near Continental Drive and Lipke Court around 1:33 p.m. Jan. 24. The caller was concerned that the debris would be left in the road. Upon his arrival, the responding officer determined that mess had been cleaned.


Reckless Endangerment, Burglary With a Dangerous Weapon, and Possession of a Firearm With an Injunction: Police are seeking charges against a 58-year-old Brookfield man they say broke into his estranged wife's residence and threatened her with a gun.

According to the police report, officers responded to a call at 6:10 p.m. on Feb. 2, from a home in the 300 block of South Elm Street. The woman told authorities that she arrived home to find her ex-husband in the home. She said the entry door from the garage to the house opened suddenly and he was pointing a gun at her and threatened to kill her, according to the police report.

The woman said she moved backwards down the driveway so as not to lose sight of the man, who was yelling threats at her. She was able to get her to her cell phone and call authorities at this point.

The police saw the man leaving the residence on a motorized scooter, due to a disability, and he denied the accusations against him. The man told police his vehicle was parked one block over and when an officer went to check it, he saw what appeared to be a gun box and lock on the floor of the vehicle. The gun was recovered at the residence where it was determined that items were taken without permission.

Due to a previous incident with the law, the man had a temporary restraining order and was not to be in possession of a firearm. Police have forwarded the case to the Waukesha County District Attorney's office for review.


Retail theft: Police are searching for a white female, 18 to 22 years old, with brown hair who was spotted taking two 20-ounce sodas from Pick 'n Save, 1010 N. Rochester St. at 11 a.m. Feb. 20. The woman fled from store employees when they tried to confront her because she left without paying the $2.98 for the sodas. Employees obtained the license plate number of the vehicle she fled in and police are attempting to track down the vehicle.

Disturbance: A group of boys was going door-to-door around 2:15 p.m., Jan. 31 in the area of Yorkshire Drive and E. Smith Road requesting water or another drink. One resident contacted police, but not until 15 minutes after the incident, and officers could not locate the boys.

Theft: An officer responded to Garfield Elementary School Jan. 29 and spoke with a student who kept stealing markers from one of the teachers. The officer also contacted the boy’s father.


Questionable Actions: A W. Washington St. resident called police around 3 a.m., Feb. 1, informing officers that it was “highly unusual” for her neighbor to have his lights on inside the residence. The neighbor was reading a book.

Suspicious Persons
: Two men in dark clothing walking down Welf Lane made a resident feel uncomfortable.

Improper Signaling: A motorist called to report that a police vehicle did not use their turn signal in Evergreen.

: After being asked to leave a local casino, a man and a woman asked people for money in the parking lot and hid behind dumpsters.

Suspicious Person: An unknown male called police Feb. 12 and said “388 West Union 6” and hung up before any further questions could be asked. Police spoke with a resident of the apartment, who said that everything was OK.

Possible Theft: A shopper at a N. Court St. grocery store told police that her wallet had been stolen from her purse around 11:14 a.m. Sept. 12. Later, the woman found her wallet at her house.


Safety Concern: A Dawn Court resident called police on Dec. 30 because he was worried about bacteria that might be growing in the apartment.

Safety Concern
: Someone on East Many Lakes Drive called to report a funny smell in their home. The caller also indicated that the ceiling was expanding and a “bubble-type thing” was forming. The problem was determined to be a plumbing leak.

Possible Fire: Reports of an electrical smell and smoke on Electric Avenue turned out to be unfounded.


Theft: 100 block 110th Avenue Northeast. Two male suspects stole four breast pumps from a Babies R Us store.

Noise Complaint: A N. State Rd. resident informed police that the individual living in the apartment above was making excessive noise around 10:10 a.m., Dec. 14. Officers arrived and found the resident had been causing noise by jumping. Police advised the subject to keep the noise down.

: An officer responded to a disturbance complaint at a Carver Drive residence around 10:05 p.m., Jan. 30. Police determined that the occupants of the home were arguing over a game. After speaking with police, all parties agreed to go to bed.

Vandalism: On Highway 2 West, someone evidently ripped down several no-trespassing signs and puked on the reporting party’s property.


Man in Snow: Police were notified that a man was lying in the snow on E. Washington St., near St. Francis, on Feb. 12. An officer responded and transported the man to a coffee shop on the square while he waited for his ride.

Public Intoxication: A drunk man fell into snow on S. Elmwood Ave. around 11:32 p.m., Feb. 19. Police took him to Medina Hospital for treatment.

Suspicious Behavior: An officer witnessed a suspicious man running near Giant Eagle around 2:17 a.m. Feb. 19. The man told police that he was cold and was attempting to warm up.

Man in Snow
: Someone in Columbia Falls reports that a man was standing in a snow bank near a local storage business.


Theft: An unknown assailant stole a pound of coffee and two mugs from the counter-top at a N. Court St. restaurant on Feb. 16. The items are valued at $32


Loose Animal: Police found a pet rabbit, wearing a collar, hopping near the roadway on W. Sturbridge Road around 2:53 a.m. Jan. 19. The officer attempted to catch the rabbit but could not.

Missing Animal: A Hungry Horse resident called to share information regarding their schnauzer that disappeared in late January.

Possible Animal Theft
: Ten to fifteen tom turkeys went missing yesterday from a Bigfork home. The reporting party notes that someone in a truck recently drove by and made admiring comments about said turkeys.

Dog Bite: A mastiff chomped a person on Caroline Road.

Possible Animal Neglect: Someone called to report that a dog had “the mange” and was being neglected in Evergreen. The dog in question was actually just old.

Animal Accident: After hitting a deer on Highway 2 in Columbia Falls, a local driver obtained permission from authorities to remove and keep the creature’s legs. The legs will evidently be used in a study of wolverines.

Possible Sick Animal
: A concerned citizen called to report that a dog was lying on the ground and foaming at the mouth near Sweetgrass Lane. This behavior is in fact quite normal for a Saint Bernard.


Possible Theft: A W. Smith Road man contacted police around 2:43 p.m. on Christmas Day, wanting to bring charges against his girlfriend’s son. Allegedly, while the couple was out, the boy opened his Christmas presents without permission.

Police told the man that the incident was not a theft because they were the boy’s presents.

Property Damage: A W. Sturbridge Drive resident notified police that a Christmas decoration light cord at the home had been cut around 6:20 p.m., Dec. 26.

Domestic Disturbance: After responding to a Springbrook Drive residence around 2:58 a.m. Dec. 20, officers spoke with an intoxicated woman who was agitated because her boyfriend was repeatedly touching the Christmas tree in the home. Police told the woman to go to bed. The involved male party slept overnight in a neighboring apartment.


Disturbance: A man called from a local body shop to report that another man was “being a jerk to him.” The situation was resolved without violence.

Disturbance: A customer and cashier began arguing over a 6-cent difference on the bill Feb. 8 at a restaurant on Medina Square. Police responded to mediate, and the manager waived the bill in order to maintain a good relationship with the customer.

Assault: In Columbia Falls, a teen male punched his father and then took off on foot. Officers found the subject sitting in a boat in the garage.

Assualt: In Somers, one boy kicked another in the groin.

Assault: One young man hit another on Sulky Lane. The confrontation apparently began over household chores.

Property Damage: A woman on Old Morris Trail kicked in a bathroom door when her husband locked himself inside. Although the parties did not physically harm one another, the door sustained fatal injuries.

Assault, Theft, Disturbance
: A Cicero man reported an incident he said occurred on February 13 at Bootlegs bar, 2717 Ridgeland. He said a man known to him only as “Tattoo Pete” approached him in the bar and accused him of having an affair with his wife. The victim said the offender slashed his tires and threw a beer bottle at him; he also stated the offender fought with him, pulled a knife, and yanked off the victim’s gold chain.

Asked why he waited so long to report the incident, the victim said he had wanted the bar owner to “handle” the situation, but now he wants the return of his gold chain, which featured a 2-inch long Jesus pendant.

Public Intoxication
: Diane M. Didonato, 51, was arrested for public intoxication in front of her residence in the 6900 block of Stanley after allegedly accosting a passing police officer with, “Mother f^&*ing police, you God@$#^&* ^holes, I got a question!” She reportedly continued to spew obscenities and was observed by the officer to have a “strong odor of alcoholic beverage and difficulty maintaining her balance, and spoke in incoherent, incomplete sentences.” She allegedly told the officer she was “smoking with the judge”, someone she described as a “rude asshole” who kicked her out. The judge in question was not identified.

And my pick for the month…


Vandalism: A S. Court St. residence informed police that her ex-boyfriend had allegedly broken into her home, possibly by prying the front door door open, and threw dog feces into her make-up bag between 4:45 and 7 a.m. Jan. 9. The woman did not know if anything had been taken from her residence.