Tonight, I went to my very first Happy Hour. Yes, it is true! I am not much of a drinker at all, so in all these years I have seen no particular need to participate in a Happy Hour, because I am usually fairly Happy anyway, do not need to consume less-expensive alcohol, and am only moderately social. But my friend called me and asked me to go, and I like to consider all invitations as an opportunity to see things in a different way. So I went, dressed in a gunmetal-grey mini, a slouchy shirt with a black wifebeater underneath, cheap black Union Bay espadrilles, and an open mind.

I may add here that this is the first post I have made here while rather inebriated, and that my stomach is probably going to be really unhappy with me in a few hours. I had four margaritas and an ahi tuna/mango/avocado salad. Then I had chai tea and black sticky rice. Ah, well.

If there are any spelling mistakes here, I will fix them later.

Even though I am reasonably wasted I am not a jerk, so I won't be spilling any secrets I heard, or typing like this: skdhfoishdlknvlsknajspkcpwojd_()#*Rp*, or throwing up and taking a picture of it and posting it. I will share a couple observations about my Happy Hour, set in an upscale Seattle-ish suburb, with all kinds of pretty people around me, once again.

1. I was completely and utterly taken aback when I walked in the bar looking for my friend, and was checked out by EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE. We already know that I am not a Hot Bitch, so this is not the deal here. It is why people are there, to look at people and assess them and drink and get phone numbers. I should have known, but the reality of having a hundred people looking at YOU like that was startling. I wish I could have let out a really long loud fart as I walked by, but it wasn't in the brew chamber.

2. If you are looking to meet someone at a Happy Hour, try not to look too perfect. It seems too obvious.

3. The good-looking guys looked way more comfortable than the good-looking girls.

4. Stop at three drinks.

5. Women when drunk talk about crappy men. Men when drunk talk about crappy sports teams.

6. Remember to pull your skirt down after you go to the bathroom. A skirt hiked up to your butt is a sure sign of wastedness.

7. Maybe eat bread instead of salad.

8. Get a ride home, preferably with a non-drunk person you have known more than an hour.

I am going to have a hangover tomorrow morning, I know it, but I am still glad I went. It is a way different venue for me, and I like things that make me think. Even when all fuzzied-up with a central nervous system depressant.