Lovers of pigheaded injustice, unite! As of today, March 1, 2013, we can thank this suited wonder for the automatic slash-and-burn cuts to our federal budget: CAPTAIN C. QUESTER! Let's get to know him a little better, shall we?
Biography
Aliases
Phil E. Buster, The Drain Clogger, Takin' My Balls And Goin' Home
Nicknames
Chip, Chad, Pip, Bubba, Junior, Congressman
Place of birth
Silver Spoon, U.S.A.
First appearance
Bullying Ronald Pickens in the school bathroom, 1975
Alignment
Partisan
Appearance
Gender
Almost always male
Race
Almost always Caucasian
Height
Tells everyone 6' but really 5'9" with a complex
Weight
210 lb
Eye color
Hazy
Hair color
Balding in the back
Work
Occupation
Member of 2012-2013 United States Congress
Base
U.S. Capitol, Washington, D.C.
Superpowers
Powers
Able to dig collective national grave without lifting a finger; can talk endlessly about nothing at all with entire head up own ass; superhuman stubbornness; ability to ignore common sense and reasonable balance with astounding consistency
Weaknesses
Occasionally caught in embarrassing sexual or financial scandals; total lack of conscience (also can be a superpower)
Friends
Lobbyists
Enemies
The citizens of the United States of America
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman