1. For the FORTY MINUTES spent trying to find a PARKING SPOT, following Grandma Buick going ONE MILE AN HOUR, braking for people walking in front of my car every 10 seconds with giant carts filled with flat-screen TVs and folding Christmas trees, and not choking the life out of the kid who flung his Escalade door open and scratched my car, Eddie Dunstetler's Quentin Tarantino-worthy, "Let It Snow/Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."

2. For the almost total inability to weave a shopping cart through Costco, because of people blocking the aisles while perusing books on the NYT's best-seller list two years ago, letting kids try out riding toys and then not putting them back, standing around eating free food samples and then talking about the free food samples with the Sample Giver Person and NOT MOVING THEIR CARTS, and the one man attempting to set up a TENT,  the Sonics' "Don't Believe In Christmas."

3. And to me, who waited in a line of 13 people at checkout while listening to a screaming toddler, only to find out I left both my checkbook and debit card in my other purse, the Absolute Worst Christmas Song Ever Sung.