I think we have it all wrong. If you wanted to have a day to think about being thankful for the things in your life, shouldn't you fast instead of gorge yourself? I mean, harvest schmarvest, no one is a farmer anymore and stuffing yourself until you are a bloated mess doesn't make you examine your blessings, it just sends you to the couch in a stupor or to the bathroom in regret. But no one is going to buy my idea. Hallmark is not going to get behind "Happy No Food And Thoughtful Meditation Day!" And now that I think of it, you can't really think about being grateful when you are overly hungry either. Never mind.

Thanksgiving is here once again, and once again I would rather eat cold cereal than spend all day cooking a big meal that everyone will either complain about in some way or eat two bites of and go play video games. F that. So today we went OUT, avoiding the cereal thing, to Salty's on Alki, a rather large and well-known joint in West Seattle for their Thanksgiving Buffet. Damn, these things are expensive. But look at the nice view!

The kids were very patient as we waited about 25 minutes. We had reservations, but they were a lil backed up. All the staff were very pleasant, I would note.

We finally got our table. Inexplicably, the children were given sacks of freshly-warm mini-donuts. This is not exactly what I would offer a child before a large meal, but hey, they were really tasty.

We commenced to nomming. Here's what we had to choose from!

Carved Turkey with Cranberry Sauce
Pepper-Crusted New York Strip with Au Jus & Creamy Horseradish
Clove-Studded Ham with Grilled Pineapple
Traditional Dutch Apple Stuffing, Vegetable Stuffing, Oyster Stuffing, Cornbread Stuffing, Tamale Stuffing
Blackened Salmon with Sesame Soy Dressing
Seafood Spanish Paella
Crispy Fried Seafood Assortment with House Tartar
Salty’s Famous Seafood Chowder Oysters on the Half Shell
Dungeness Crab
Peel & Eat Prawns
Clams & Mussels
Seafood Ceviche
Creamed Corn Casserole
Green Beans Amandine
Bourbon-Glazed Carrots
Brown Sugar-Roasted Spaghetti Squash
Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Brown Sugar-Glazed Yams with Marshmallows
Macaroni & Cheese with Sausage
Caesar Salad, Waldorf Salad, Potato Salad. Pasta Salad. Ambrosia Salad. Tuscan Bread Salad
Giblet Gravy, Vegetable Gravy, Southern Sausage Gravy
Roasted Fall Vegetables
Pickled Vegetables
Fruit, Meat & Cheese Tray
House-Made Scones, Lavosh, Assorted Bread & Rolls, Crusty Garlic Bread
Chocolate Fountain AND
25 Desserts by Pastry Chef James Gibson including: Pumpkin Pie, Grandma’s Old Fashioned Coconut Cake, Cranberry Pecan Pie, Cheesecake Brûlée

GAHHHHH! As I am all about the side dishes, I loaded my plate, ONCE, with mostly those, ordered a mango frozen drink thing and ate until I was only slightly overly-full.

MissSeven was most excited about the seafood, especially when she got to crack open the crab legs by herself. Mr11 was more excited about talking about stuff rather than eating.

One of the servers was dressed like a turkey and MissSeven dramatically begged me not to take her picture with him, giggling.

I finished my meal with a pineapple and a strawberry dipped in the chocolate fountain, a tiny piece of pumpkin cheesecake, and a lemon tart. I could not finish them.

My review? The food was OK. Not as bad as the QFC take-out Thanksgiving meal we had one year, but not as yummy as the Hyatt's buffet last year. There wasn't anything that made me swoon, but nothing that was inedible either. Just OK.

The best part of my Thanksgiving came this morning, when MissSeven showed me the "Thanksgiving games" she devised.

Game 1: Pin The Tail On The Pumpkin Pie:

Game 2: Guess What's On The Dinner Plate:

(answer: mashed potatoes, peas, and cut-up turkey)

Game 3: Design-A-Pig-Roast

The object is to make the pig as unusual as possible, with these extra pieces: an apple, false eyelashes, a dorsal fin, and a jagged knife.

Like any food was going to top that.