The evil bluster of rain and wind stopped long enough this afternoon to enjoy a trip to one of the best stores in Seattle (or anywhere), Archie McPhee. Who is Archie McPhee, you ask? Well, hell, I don’t know. I do know that lots and lots of happy people were running around delighting in the good fortune of finding band-aids that look like strips of bacon, a purse made out of Astroturf, Corporate Zombie action figures, or inch-long plastic nuns. It’s sort of a toy store/curiosity shoppe for hipster adults, strange children, and anyone who enjoys a good old-fashioned rubber boa constrictor.

For your enjoyment, here are some photos of the items you can find there, before my stupid camera battery ran out and then I swore at myself for not charging it before I left because I should’ve known better because OF COURSE there would be a ton of photos I wanted to take. I am often completely unprofessional, which is appropriate because I don’t get jack shit to write this blog, you know. See how I just rationalized my camera fail right there? I am too swift for you. OK, OK.

Common themes throughout the store are Creepy Stuff With Menacing Eyes:

Devils, and Things About Meat, and Specifically, Bacon Meat:

Things In Bins That You Would Not Normally Think Of:

including a bride who looks like she is wielding a sword:

and chickens that are choking hazards, BAHAHA.

So, in the midst of all this delectable bounty, what did I purchase? For the family, a nice selection of disgusting candies and odd mints:

For Mr11, a fine selection of classic prank items:

For MissSeven, a sushi wastebasket for her room and a large manacing rubber cat that she thinks is "so adorable":

And for me, the head of Sigmund Freud to squeeze as needed, and a paparazzi action figure kit for my desk.

Everyone should be so lucky as to have a store like Archie McPhee by them. If you dare me, I might just go back and buy that rubber chicken face mask I liked and then wear it to the Safeway. That, you will have to pay me for though. A girl can't get by on jack shit alone these days.