Today was the stupidest snow day EVER. All three kids home today, all school districts closed in the whole Seattle metro area. THERE WAS NO SNOW. No ice, no sleet, not even any rain. As a matter of fact, most of the remaining bits of snow melted away. The entire state of Wisconsin would sneer at this lame-ass snow day, and my very DNA is embarrassed.

So today instead of increasing their bases of knowledge, my kids did this:

-- the 17-year-old, SHOCKINGLY I KNOW, spent the entire day on the internet, and did not pretend to do homework. He got up once to ask me for food, I told him to make his own damn food, then told him I got him an excellent sandwich at the deli that was in the fridge and he grunted something like MMPHH;

-- the 10-year-old pretended to do homework for ten minutes then disappeared into Wii-land, surfacing for Campbell's Double Noodle Soup at lunchtime, and also yelled at his sister for stealing the Wii remotes;

-- the 6-year-old laughed when I asked her about her homework then harangued me mercilessly and cheerfully ALL DAY LONG about when-are-we-putting-up-the-christmas-tree and when-can-we-bake-muffins and what-does-it-feel-like-to-wear-glasses and how-does-that-one-part-to-96-Tears-go-again-on-the-piano and I-want-you-to-watch-me-do-15-yoga-poses-because-I-am-competitive-you-know and and and and and, which is her way.

Me? I baked the muffins, and watched the yoga poses, and made the soup, and plunked the piano, and did five loads of laundry and one of dishes, let the dog in and out of the house FIVE MILLION GODDAMN TIMES, and smiled a great big smile all day long when Geoff Edgers gave me the wonderful compliment of this shite site being mentioned on his not-shite-site for The Boston Globe, The Exhibitionist: Thank you, Geoff! It pleases me to no end to think of some crusty Back Bay blue blood possibly clicking on a link that says DIARRHEA ISLAND. HA HA. Actually, I have to admire anyone anywhere who has the nerve to click on it. It is the internet, after all, and there's a pretty decent chance something referencing loose stools would end up being some German scat porn site that you could never UNSEE again. Oh, if there were such a thing as eye bleach.

Another thing I did today was watch several high school talent show versions of OK GO's "Here It Goes Again" video, which was both a Grammy and an MTV award winner, and also probably my favorite rock video of EVER. It is so simple and silly and brilliant, and one of those things that I wish I would've or could've thought of myself. I am utterly charmed by the teens, who do a damn good job of copying the choreography, and even more so by their peers in the audience who cheer them on.

Alright,advance to this video. Really, my day, for a stupid no-snow day, was not so bad. Not so bad at all.