20 OF MY FAVORITE PHOTOS OF PEOPLE & NOT PEOPLE IN TOP HATS

Inspired by the sartorial splendor of today's Coachella fest appearance by one of my favorite bands, the Hives, I decided to comb through the Series Of Tubes today to find other excellent examples of formalwearing. Specifically, we shall focus here upon the grand and elegant top hat, and those whom I feel have done it proud. And HELL NO, there won't be any pictures of Slash or Madonna. NO.

You may recognize one or two of the folks here. Cough.


FIVE WAYS TO HELP A FRIEND COPE WITH THE LOSS OF A PARENT

One of the sad realities of getting older is that your parents age along with you, and the day comes when you lose them. Just because this is the natural pattern of life doesn't make it any easier. A close friend's dad died unexpectedly a few days ago, and he now begins the journey of going forward without his father's presence. Of course, when we hear of such a loss, we are saddened and want to help in any way we can. I thought I would spend a few moments writing about how we can help friends who have lost a parent.

1. Don't be afraid to reach out. Depending upon the relationship you have with your friend, you might feel that commenting on their loss might be intrusive or awkward; you don't want to insert yourself into a situation that might bring up strong, complex emotions and make things worse. But I don't think there is ever a time when even a simple, "I am sorry for your loss" isn't appreciated. A feeling of support is so important when you are reeling from a such a life-changing event.

2. Relate...but don't over-relate. It can be a very powerful connection to let a friend know how you felt about or coped with a parent's death, but you have to always remember two things: this is not about you and your loss, and even though you "understand," you cannot know what this particular loss means to your friend. You just can't; not even a sibling will feel exactly the same about a parent's death. It's a complex and utterly personal event for us all, whether close to a parent or not. There is no "Parent Death Club" to join, and you don't want to hurt or offend a friend by insisting that you know exactly how he or she feels. Do share the experiences that you feel would be comforting to your friend, but in small doses. Don't overwhelm.

3. Step in, lightly. Depending on how bereaved your friend is, or how difficult the logistics are in the early days of dealing with a parent's death, your help may be needed quite a lot. Sometimes they may not know what they need. You can pitch in with the details of organizing food for mourners, child and pet care, finding hotel rooms or providing transportation for those coming into town for the funeral, compiling music or photographs that were meaningful to the parent for the wake or funeral, providing at-home meals for your friend or yardwork or any of a hundred little tasks that might go undone in the wake of a difficult loss. If you have an idea of how to help, ask your friend or someone close if it's OK to go ahead with.

4. Share your memories of the parent. If you knew your friend's parent, make time to write down or tell a story about how he or she was important to you. Whether it's personal characteristics or achievements that you admired, their quirks or unique talents, or how the parent influenced your life for the better, don't hesitate to let your friend know. These stories from others build a kind of perspective about the parent's life that is invaluable to healing, and often bring a smile through the tears.

5. Give your friend three gifts: time, patience, and you. There is no universal timetable for grieving a parental loss, and no "right way" to mourn. Losing a parent can be particularly rocky, as not only are you missing the person that is no longer there, but it closes a door on a huge part of your own identity as well. Even if you are a "Golden Years" person as well, you are always someone's child as long as your parents are living. A parent's death is a profound reminder of how incredibly short life is, and of your own mortality, too. Your friend might seem, to you, too sad for too long, or not sad enough, or might veer all over the place emotionally, including anger, indifference, irritability, or become hyper-focused on work issues. Allow your friend to process all the emotions in their own time and own ways. Be a friend, and be there through this tough time, even if it's not always easy or might not seem appreciated. You are needed.

Ride, "Vapour Trail"

First you look so strong,
Then you fade away.
The sun will blind my eyes,
I love you anyway.
First you form a smile,
I watch you for a while.
You are a vapour trail,
In a deep blue sky.

Tremble with a sigh,
Glitter in your eye.
You seem to come and go,
I never seem to know.
And all my time,
is yours as much as mine.
We never have enough,
Time to show our love. 





(photo: Ed Smith)



THIS YEAR'S WHIRL: MY SEATTLE WEEKLY PHOTOS OF ELVIS COSTELLO'S "SPECTACULAR SPINNING SONGBOOK" SHOW (AND A LITTLE SURPRISE BONUS)!

Oh, my dearies, I cannot even TELL you how excited I was when I found out that I was going to be able to photograph the one and only Elvis Costello for Seattle Weekly! This was a big deal for me, as a huuuuuuge fan who hasn't missed an Elvis tour since 1979 but never had the opportunity to bring the big camera along. Downright giddy, I was, to walk into Seattle's beautiful Paramount Theater with my gear last night to shoot the "Spectacular Spinning Songbook" show -- especially photographically cool with the fun stage set-up, a go-go dancer in a pearl-stringed go-go cage, and of course, natty Elvis himself. (My only regret is that I could not shoot past the first 3 songs, as per usual rules these days, for the audience interaction and stage participation would have made for even better shots!)

So go and check out Mike Seely's show review on Seattle Weekly HERE, the slideshow HERE, and the Flickr set HERE! Don't miss seeing this show if it comes your way -- it's so entertaining, and Elvis really is one of the most talented musicians you could ever see.

























After I went back to my seat in the balcony to enjoy the rest of the show, I just happened to have my iPhone out. Visually, we are far away, but sonically...what a gem to listen to! Please to enjoy "Slow Drag With Josephine," from the encore.



What a night!


GUEST POST: MISS NINE STEPS IN

MissNine: Mom, you have a show tonight?

Me: (busily loading camera gear in bag) Ya, I'm shooting Elvis Costello at the Paramount.

MissNine: Can I go??

Me: Aw, no, honey, not this time. I'm sorry.

MissNine: Aw!!

Me: Next time for sure.

MissNine: So...you're pretty busy right now?

Me: Yup.

MissNine: You want some help on your blog tonight?

Me: (smiling) Sure! Whatcha got for me?

(She leaves, and comes back with a drawing of her brother, Mr14, and some old homework that, to me, reads rather amusingly poetic.)


Me: Thanks, punkin!

MissNine: You're welcome.

Me: You're a good helper.

MissNine: I know.







































(Translation: I scrape the fence with my nials. That boy is strange. I spray the windows with water. Throw the ball to me!!! My close shrink when ever I put them in the wocher. I squash the bean's. I scratch my leg when I nervose. Miss Walker is very strict. A King sit's in a throne.)



I MADE YOU ANOTHER POLITICAL CARTOON: AMERICAN FREEDOMS

(Psst: click to enlarge)










IDENTIFYING & COUNTERING THE SINGLE-ISSUE CONSERVATIVE: A PRIMER

As much as it causes me at times great consternation and mental implosion, I do think a lot about American politics, especially in this Presidential election year. For as complex and frustrating as such mulling can be, I get personal satisfaction from trying my best to be an involved and informed citizen, and trying to align the things that are important to me with the things that are also important for my American brethren, and the world's other inhabitants, too. I like digging, reading, synthesizing, working through things, remembering historical patterns of the past and applying everything I know towards future outcomes. It's like a great big puzzle, with pieces that morph into different shapes each time you go back to work on it. There is never any one perfect road to walk nor assured outcome, but I know that my participation is valuable, even though many Americans -- or maybe most -- would cynically disagree with me. The process, the effort, the striving, is good.

Thinking and analyzing and reasoning are the finest assets that humans possess over other species, other than opposable thumbs. I believe this, which is why steam starts to foof out of my ears when I come across conservatives -- sometimes people I like just fine, and whom I think are smart, interesting, and generous -- who put on metaphorical horse blinders when it comes to politics and the choices they make at the voting booth that are often contradictory to their best interests. The "single-issue" conservatives vex me more than those folks who don't think about the issues at all, like the woman who once sincerely said to me, "I don't want to know anything about politics. I'll just vote for any Republican, I don't care who it is."

Before getting into some of the single-issue types, a note: the conservative is often someone who feels most comfortable with the authoritarian model (which, I might add, often clashes completely with a libertarian/rightist desire for small or limited government and claims of individual liberty). In short, they wish for strong, absolute leaders, seen as their superiors in moral fitness and personal power. It's one of the big reasons most people follow a religion: there is a comfort in trusting your fate in a crazy world to someone who seems to have all the right answers. Authoritarian model followers often repeat the pattern in their own homes, where a single family member essentially rules the roost with "because I told you to" and "my way or the highway" philosophies. It's extremely effective...but also doesn't foster the development of higher-level thinking skills. Without those who are willing, able, and allowed to think critically, we cannot move forward to attempt to solve the problems that increasingly threaten the well-being of us all. Now that's something to think about, hmm?

But perhaps the single-issue conservative can be reasoned with. It's worth a shot.

THE FISCAL CONSERVATIVE says: "Why should I work hard just to give away all my money to the government?" "We can't spend more than we earn." "It's a free country; I should be able to spend my money how I want to." "It takes money to make money, so allot our resources to already-successful business job creators." "We cannot increase the nation's debt; it destabilizes us and puts the burden on our children and their children."

YOU say: "First, our country isn't broke in the least. We ran up a horrendous debt very quickly via expensive oil wars and Wall Street bailouts, yes, but we are also continuing to give stunning tax credits to the very wealthiest businesses and individuals. Instead of "trickle-down economics" materializing, those folks have taken the money for personal gains, and have invested in employees outside of the U.S. who will work for far less and have few to no health or safety guarantees afforded to them. Our debt can never be paid off by balancing it on the backs of the middle- and working-class. It can be paid off by insisting that the wealthiest 1% pay the same tax rate as the rest of us. Making the tax code less complicated and less skewed to favor the powerful rich will still leave the rich plenty rich, will stabilize our economy, and end up putting more money back into the pockets of the vast majority of Americans."

THE SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE says: "Why should government be in the business of things that families should be responsible for? Save up your money for health care and a nursing home, send your child to private school if you don't like your public school, save up for college." "Don't give special protections to gays and non-whites; it's not fair to straight white people." "I don't want any government telling me that I have to ignore my religious beliefs; it's persecution to deny me the expression of my values."

YOU say: "Even the wealthiest among us could be bankrupted by one serious illness; the astronomical costs of even basic health care much less advanced or long-term care is beyond the means of us all. Our entire country suffers when we have an unhealthy population with people who choose to feed their family for a month rather than check out a lingering cough. We suffer when hard-working people lose their homes because they cannot pay their medical bills. We suffer when children aren't able to equally access quality education. We suffer when to better yourself through college, you must take a terrible risk of taking on tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, with no guarantee of ever being able to pay it back. Our nation cannot survive with ignorant, sick, fearful, poor, broken people becoming greater in number every day." "If there weren't racists and homophobes by the score still determined to make life difficult or worse for some Americans, then protections wouldn't be needed. Until that time, the government must step in to protect the rights of all our citizens." "Your religious beliefs cannot steamroll anyone else's beliefs or lack of religious beliefs. That's called fairness. It's a general tenet of decent human interaction."

THE 9/11 + ANTI-IMMIGRANT PERSON says: "Islamists will try to take over/kill us all if we don't take severe steps to counteract terrorism." "Illegal aliens are a security threat." "Illegal aliens take jobs away from legal citizens." "All illegal aliens are drug-running, gun-blasting criminals."

YOU say: "Unless you are Native American, consider yourself and all your ancestors immigrants. Immigrants, legal or illegal, often take jobs that no one else will take, and our economy depends on their labor. Almost all of them are peaceful and want nothing more than to earn a living, often impossible in their own countries." "Being a Muslim is not a crime, and most Muslims do not align with Islamic extremists, any more than all gun owners align with serial killer snipers." "9/11 paranoia has led to invasive searches of babies, old women in wheelchairs, your clothes being digitally stripped off your body in order to get on a plane, and laws now allowing the U.S. government to completely override all of your Constitutional rights if someone in the Department of Homeland Security feels like it. The price is too high, and we quickly are becoming the police state that is no better than the regimes of the countries we fear the most."

THE RACIST/HOMOPHOBE says: "(Any ethnicity other than white) and (any other sexual orientation other than straight) are ruining our country with their filthy, abnormal practices and low cultures."

YOU say: Nothing. Just let them hang out and get to know and like some of your friends who are not white and/or not heterosexual. Strongest medicine against prejudice.

THE "BOOTSTRAPS" PERSON says: "No one ever helped me coming up; why should I help someone else who is too lazy to work hard?" "You can't ever learn responsibility if the government gives you a handout." "Why should unions be allowed to have so much power? Why should those people in unions get better stuff than I do at my job?"

YOU say: "There's honor and worth in hard work, and most people do work hard and want to contribute. Providing opportunities for others to succeed, or even get back on their feet, is compassionate and smart." "Realistically, there will always be a small subsection of the population who will not be willing or able to work. Judging them does little to improve anyone's lot. This isn't the Wild West. We don't let people die on the streets...or do we?" "The mid-20th century 'American Dream' of home ownership, cars, college, travel, material goods, increased access to medical care was, in fact, largely fueled by the gains made by unions, forming a comfortable, healthy middle-class. Without the protections that unions provide workers, most of whom earn less than 50K a year, there would be little to protect them from powerful corporate profiteers, where abuses are still seen in developing countries."

THE NRA GUNS ARE GOD'S GIFT PERSON says: "It's our Constitutional right to bear arms, you can't argue with that! I have a right to protect myself! If you take away my guns, only the bad guys will have guns! If everyone carried a gun, everyone would be safer!"

YOU say: "The 2nd Amendment citing 'A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed' to me, as well as many actual real legal scholars over the years, doesn't mean that every nutjob in the country should be allowed to buy a handgun to shove in his pocket and bring along to the mall. Do you really trust people that much? I don't, because statistics show over and over again that if you own a gun, it is far more likely to be used against you or a member of your own family than any 'bad guy' or intruder. A loud barking dog is a better deterrent to a burglar than the idea that Joe Schmoe might have a gun and might be able to get at it and might be able to actually use it competently. Our gun-death rate in this country is an abomination, and concealed carry a serious public threat. George Zimmerman was just itching to use his gun, went looking for trouble, and a teenager carrying Skittles and an iced tea is dead, and Zimmerman, to the day of this writing, is a free man. We will see more of this, and I really don't want to see where it will lead."

THE EVANGELICAL ANTI-ABORTION, ANTI-CONTRACEPTION PERSON says: "All life is sacred and begins at conception! Sex is for martial conception only! All abortions are a sin against God and nature! Abortion is murder! Contraceptives encourage promiscuity, immorality, and are responsible for the destruction of the family!"

YOU say: The toughest one to counter, because none of this is based on reason. "You have a right in America to your religious beliefs, which is what these are. In this country, we also have a commitment to uphold the separation of church and state. Allowing any religious beliefs to infiltrate the law is denying other citizens their own personal choices and beliefs. America was formed as a place to respect the individual and to protect each person from religious tyranny. Zygotes and fetuses cannot supersede the rights of women to control what happens to their own bodies. To deny women this choice is to clearly assign them to lesser human status, based on biology. If you insist that your beliefs are to be sanctioned by the government, you must recognize there would be little difference between America and Iran."

THE GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX PERSON says: "It's all crap, no such thing, liberal conspiracy, anti-business! There's scientists who prove it's a hoax!"

YOU say: "There's science, and science paid-for by the oil industries. Every credible research scientist, all of them far smarter than you or I, show us over and over that if we don't make immediate changes in our use of fossil fuels and chemical waste, our planet may not be able to support us within a few short decades. That's going to affect you and your kids directly, and we've done such a hideous job of dealing with this that it might even be too late. It is the single greatest threat to continued life there is. All of us should be panicking in the streets NOW, demanding our government put in place and enforce severe restrictions -- period. The profiteers won't change."

You may disagree with me, or YOU, but what I hope you do agree with here is that we have a lot of thinking -- and talking -- to do.







VIDEO: "PARTIES" - PUBERTY (2010)

When there's a really catchy garage rock song out there that doesn't have a proper video on YouTube (i.e., not just a static image over the music, or god forbid, scrolling misheard lyrics in comic sans...this is where I step in. "Parties" is by Puberty, also known as Lars Finberg and Susanna Welbourne, also of the Intelligence. Lars is also also known as a member of Thee Oh Sees, A Frames, Wounded Lion, and I think KC & The Sunshine Band, but I need to check on that. Anyway, with the courtesy pilfering of educational films, James Brown in a ski sweater, some old home movies of strangers, an old folks' rockin' house party in Newfoundland, Canada, and some people from an unknown Asian country who really knew how to do a mean Jerk, WE HAVE NEW VIDEO! Please to enjoy, and please to purchase the 7" single at Telephone Explosion or digitally via your handy iTunes account.

(photo by Peter Mumford/Seattle Weekly)



Puberty, "Parties"

GUEST PHOTO ESSAY: EASTER SUNDAY 2012 ON HOLLYWOOD BEACH, FLORIDA

Yours truly gets a day off, because my pals Stacy and Barry delivered these sweet photos to me to share with you! If you want to know how it would feel to spend a balmy sunny Easter/Passover Sunday on Hollywood Beach, just north of the more-famous Miami Beach, NOW YOU CAN KNOW! Thank you, S & B, and thanks to all the unknown and colorful sandy friends featured!

Stacy goes first...


IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: TOWN HALL ANTIQUE MALL, BOTHELL, WA., PART TWO (PLUS A FANCY CHICKEN VIDEO!)

Just about a month short of a year ago, we went for a fine afternoon drive up the road to Bothell, Washington to visit the Country Village Shops (which you can read about here), and had such a nice time we went back again today. As it was the day before Easter, there were lots of fun kids' activities like pony rides, egg hunts, a visit from a giant egg and the Easter Bunny, and it was very busy. But really, I was all jonesing to get me and my camera back to Town Hall Antique Mall because I love their stuff, and admire how they so carefully place each and every item. It's artful, sweet, and sometimes brings a smile. The handy iPhone was my imaging device today, and I just shot some things that caught my eye. Please to enjoy! (You may click on the photos to enlarge them.)


VIDEO: MARIANNE 0-50 IN 2 MINUTES, 30 SECONDS

50.

50!!!!


Oh mah gawd, HOW DO IT WORK, HOW DO IT HAPPEN???

Like this!

Marianne 0-50 In 2 Minutes, 30 Seconds (Song: "Time" by the Black Lips)




I tell you what, it's been pretty damn great so far. I think the next 50 or so should be just fine.

My love and thanks to my wonderful friends and family and readers who made this birthday extra special, and who make every day fun.


PHOTOS: 25 SCARY EASTER BUNNIES OF THE PAST

I like Easter. Easter was always around My Birthday Time, which adds allure to anything, and I like jellybeans and chocolate and hunting for easter eggs in the new muddy spring grass. Furthermore, Easter Bunnies are just cute as the dickens.

Unless...

THEY AREN'T SO CUTE.

One wonders.
































MY THREE FAVORITE OVERHEARD CONVERSATIONS AT ROSS TODAY

Cabin fever got the better of me today, and at 5PM I decided on a whim to leave the house and go out for a few hours of recreational discount shopping. I find this very relaxing; when I have no time constraints, the store isn't busy, and there's nothing in particular I am looking for, moseying through the racks at places like Ross or TJ Maxx or Marshall's calms me like a fruity drink at the beach.

It was really quiet today at the stores I went to, which was great. I think a lot of families are attempting to acquire some Vitamin D somewhere for spring break, which would account for the lack of screaming kids running around and snotty ineffectual teens at the registers. I mosey, and poke at clothes, and feel if sheet sets are soft enough to purchase, and remind myself that knick-knacks are the devil's work. I also listen to other shoppers talk, if they are already speaking loudly enough for me to hear. Why? So I can write them down quickly when I get into my car and then type them up for you.

********************

Tired middle-aged mom: (speaking to middle-school aged pudgy blond daughter, who is holding up a red minidress) There's no way in HELL you are buying that. It makes you look like a slut!

Girl: Mom! It does NOT! God! You don't like ANYTHING I pick out! It's not fair!

Mom: We are not talking about fair. We are talking about a dress that makes you look like a hooker!

Girl: Mom!!! Allison has one just like this, and you told her you LIKED IT!

Mom: I was being polite. You could see everything

Girl: MOM!!! God!! Can I just go shopping with Dad next time?

Mom: Oh, HELL, no.

********************

Young Dad: (speaking to his toddler son, holding up a colorful striped toy ball) Chase! What is this? What is this?

Chase: Poop!

********************

(Two regular suburban girls in their early 20s are looking at some off-price designer shirts. I catch the conversation in progress.)

Girl 1: I know! She always dresses so well! She looks great. I wish I could dress like that.

Girl 2: I know, me too! Well, she has a husband, right?

Girl 1: No...I think she has a boyfriend who used to be gay or something but now is working at Nordstrom Rack.

Girl 2: (nodding knowingly) Ahhh...nice.





I MADE YOU SOME NEW CHILDREN'S BOOKS







VIDEO FUN TIME: NEW WHITE FENCE AND OLD KINKS SHAMPOO

More videos from the Popthomology Vintage Footage Blender! I love making these.

First up, another video for White Fence, who is Tim Presley, who is one of my very favorite musical artists working now. "Down PNX" is from the new "Family Perfume Vol. 1" album on WOODSIST, with Vol. 2 coming in May. I'm finally getting to see White Fence play live here in Seattle at the Chop Suey on May 5th (along with another fave, Ty Segall), and I am already vibrating with psychedelic excitement! I think it's gonna be the show of the year for me.

White Fence, "Down PNX"



Earlier today, I was just stunned to see, for the first time ever, this unbelievably mega-awesome promo video for the Kinks' 1973 song "Sitting In The Midday Sun." I had no idea this existed. Look at Ray Davies! Why he didn't go more for an acting career is beyond me; what an amazingly expressive face he has. Check it out!

The Kinks, "Sitting In The Midday Sun"




Now, what's the first thing that came to my mind? Such lovely hair deserves a reset into a vintage '70s shampoo commercial! That amused me greatly, so I did it!

The Alberto Balsam - Kinks Shampoo Commercial



Fun fun fun!



MY TEN FAVORITE "FOOL" SONGS

What do I like best about April Fools' Day every year? Honestly, me realizing that my birthday is in five more days and I get (HINT) cake and kickass presents. Don't prank me, bro -- I might punch you in the oh long johnson!

My second favorite thing about April Fools' Day is cool songs talking about fools. Please to enjoy!

The Impressions, "Fool For You"

Oh my goodness, this soul classic from 1968 is just sososososososo sexy. Curtis Mayfield's sublime falsetto and that driving, punctuated backbeat...oh my.



Elvis Costello, "You Little Fool"

From his 1982 baroque-pop masterpiece Imperial Bedroom, Costello pulls a Ray Davies-type lyrical turn, looking at an everyday situation with a perfectly-observed balance of detached anger and uncommon compassion.



The Cardigans, "Lovefool"

Surprised? I am too. This 1996 hit from Sweden's Cardigans is far poppier than my usual taste, but it's so damn catchy. Plus, I like Nina Persson's pretty voice and pretty face.



The Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again"

Deserves all kudos for all time for the best political line of any pop song, ever: "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." This remains the definitive performance of it, from 1979's brilliant Who documentary "The Kids Are Alright."



The Main Ingredient, "Everybody Plays The Fool"

"OK, so you're heartbroken. You sit around mopin', cryin', cryin'. You say you even thinkin' about dyin'? Well, before you do anything rash...dig this!" Testify! Although I do admit when this was a hit in 1972, I thought, huh, not me man, I'm never gonna be a FOOL. HAHAHA! Oh, me.



Elvin Bishop, "Fooled Around and Fell In Love"

"Fooled Around and Fell In Love" from 1976 is a bittersweet, tears-in-your-beer perfect blue-eyed soul performance from Mr. Bishop. Could have easily been a hit for any of the top soul singers of the day. It's just a really great song.



The Manish Boys, "I Pity The Fool"

Vocals sound familiar? Yup, that's our pal David Bowie, in 1965 when he was still known as Davie Jones. Lead guitar sound familiar? Yup, that's our pal Jimmy Page, in 1965 when he was still known as...Jimmy Page.



Etta James, "Fool That I Am"

Ah, Miss Etta. Just take a listen to this. Etta James' gift, and more so than any of her formidable peers that I can think of, was her ability to truly connect emotionally with lyrics and melodies. Everything about what she does with this song is just breathtaking: phrasing, power, pitch, range, raw depth of feeling, cool professional control. Stunning, really.



Ray Brown and the Whispers, "Fool Fool Fool"

This Aussie British-Invasion-style band takes a cool jerk beat and pairs it with actual jerk lyrics about a boyfriend dumb enough to steal presents for his greedy girlfriend, landing him in jail. FOOL!



Mr T, "A-Team Fool Remix"

I don't think I need to elaborate further here. Mr. T rules the day. Quit your jibber jabber.