OH BOY, FOLKS! PAY DIRT today!! Looks like a hardcore evangelical Christian preacher, teacher, or just a BIG BIG FAN of the genre probably passed on to the Big Dirt Nap In The Dirt and his (or her, but probably not her) personal effects got dumped at one of my local Goodwill stores. Maybe the deceased's relatives thought it said "Godwell," who knows. Anyway, I found a slew of these sweet and wholly-weird vintage '60s religious record covers, so I am bringing them to you on a SUNDAY, THAT'S RIGHT, A SUNDAY. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!

Mr. F. Carlton Booth, he of the vampire teeth and glowing eyes, is unashamed to admit he is a salesman. Read the blurb in the pink box: "...Once you get a convert, keep him! Don't lose the fish after he is hooked!" WOW.

"Pay Day?????" Don't hold your breath, "Dr." Lee...or maybe DO.

What's outstanding here is their Brylcreem.

I'm speechless at the awesomeness of this. It is only made better that I see it is on "WORD" Records, boiiiiiiiii!

I feel like I need to point out that Mr. Shea's whole triple-"I Believe" thing is undercut by the song title, "If God Isn't Real." HERETIC!!!! Also, he appears ready at any moment to shout, "GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DAMN HIPPIE RADICAL PINKOS!"

Um. Look who's in the doorway there. You think ol' Bob's gonna walk past Cat Girl? Of course he is. SO HE CAN GO IN THE BACK WAY UNSEEN! Just to save her soul, of course.

"With A Song On My Lips..." and the Jolly Green Giant's wardrobe on my ass.

"Who Am I?" the first song inquires. I'll tell you: Jimmie Davis is a 2-time governor of that haven of progressive thought, Louisiana, and wrote a thesis in college entitled, "Comparative Intelligence of Whites, Blacks, and Mulattos." He spent his time in office building himself a new Governor's Mansion and did his best to keep racial segregation laws in place.

Well, that is nothing to brag about, Mr. Adams. Why do all these guys look like they're related?

And the answer is: MORE BRYLCREEM, BOIIIII! Now what you gonna do, Jack?

OK! But I think Jesus' hair is too long for Brylcreem. But hey.

Here's good ol' Billy Graham, still alive and still excited enough about his hotline to heaven that he's trying to keep gay marriage illegal in 2012. What a super example of senior activism! Don't let the Pearly Gates hit you on the ass, Graham Cracker.

I believe the Kroeze Family opened for the Stones at Altamont.

I can only think that if anyone gave this record to any teenager in the '60s, it would go down as LEAST APPRECIATED GIFT EVER.


"Bussing People To Christ!" Don't you want to sit down and listen? FOR TWO HOURS?

Wait a minute...isn't this J.T. Adams above? Or is it George Beverly Shea? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Ask God, smartass; he would know!

I'm just trying to wrap my mind around a dude being named "Wendy Bagwell."

Hey, here's Bob from Bourbon Street again! I am pretty sure that in this photo he's bragging just how he "saved" Cat Girl.

Answer: Yes, the circle will be unbroken when you get caught messing around with prostitutes, Jimbo. TWICE. Keep smilin'!

That's what HE said.

Answer: Another old white dude with glasses who is apparently radioactive!

If you are thinking of reviving the Stepford Wives, maybe...