I've got nuthin' to cry about today here today in Seattle-ish, where I'm diggin' the bluest skies and the sunniest sun, the coldest beer, and pancakes for dinner. Well, OK, if I really wanted to be a pouty baby I could spill a few tears about the patch of sunburn I got on my leg or that my second go-round this year of The Cough That Never Ends seems to be enjoying an extended stay, but I'm NOT GONNA DO IT! But you...dammit, I feel for you. You might be having a bad day where you are, with a Sig Oth that's being an ass AGAIN, a co-worker who farts and doesn't even KNOW it, or the realization that your neighbor, Rusty The Felon With The Dubious Van, is never, EVER going to stop his jam out to "Welcome To The Jungle."

I am here to help! Here's five of the most kickass rockin' songs I know with "Cry" (or "Crying" or "Cryin'") in the title, so you can weep and dance like a crazy person at the same time and achieve some healthy catharsis. It might even freak out Rusty enough for him to keep his distance! Please to enjoy!

The Gentlemen, "It's A Cryin' Shame" (1966)

Without question, one of the most DEVASTATINGLY AWESOME garage rock songs of the EVER! Oh man, this is brutal!! The coolest riff, the filthy fuzz, the relentless belt-whip beat, the cool cat harmonies, the searing vocals -- it's got IT ALL. I once tried to cover this in the '80s but I kept messing up the riff and said, oh eff it.

The Animals, "I'm Crying" (live, 1965)

The Animals were a big fave of mine back inna day; what power these guys had, and what tremendous songs! Eric Burdon was one of the few Brits that could truly stand with any of his blues idols. "I'm Crying" is a great stomper that encourages yelling and headbanging and hair-flying goodness. Check the wicked cymbal work on this live version and the magical unmoving-ness of Burdon's bangs.

The High Numbers, "Gotta Dance To Keep From Cryin'" (live, 1964)

What I love most about this is that you can tell that drummer guy really just wants to CUT LOOSE. Like, ALL THE TIME. I miss you, Keith.

Reigning Sound, "I'll Cry" (2005)

Southern cats Reigning Sound are still on my SERIOUS bucket list of Bands I Am Desperate To See, and I feel totally shamed that I've missed them. I could cry about that, but instead, LET'S ROCK! This is the alternate 7" version on Slovenly Records that was released the year after "I'll Cry" appeared on the MANDATORY BUY album, Too Much Guitar (In the Red Records).

Q 65, "Cry In The Night" (1966)

Ah, this Dutch band came up with a total go-go mover, with a purple-heart stutter fuzz guitar that just makes you want to jerk like a electrocution victim. In a GOOD way.

Ty Segall & White Fence, "Crybaby" (2012)

We will end up our Cry Fest with two of my current tops of the pops, the ultra-prolific and ultra-keen Ty Segall and Tim Presley and their fun pals. Keeping the garage alive, one tear at a time!