Waking up on February 11, 2012, I groggily prodded myself to general consciousness and eventually came to realize these things:

1. I was not in my bed at my home.
2. I was, however, in a twin size Murphy bed, suspended about 4' from the floor inside a cruise ship cabin.
3. My cabinmates Rob and Stacy, who I had met in person only 4 days prior, were sleeping below me.
4. I was now in the country of the Bahamas.

Normally, I would assume that I had either been kidnapped or had slid into early dementia overnight, but joyfully neither were the case. This was just part of my experience at this year's Bruise Cruise music festival, which we have previously explored in PART ONE, PART TWO, and PART THREE. After figuring out a semi-graceful way to exit my strange cruise crib, which was by bouncing off the bed below me and then bouncing to the floor, the three of us began to get ready for an afternoon spent away from the boat. As it turned out, Rob and Stacy had extended family in the Bahamas and they kindly offered to pick us up for lunch and a short tour of the island. None of us had ever been to the Bahamas before so this was particularly awesome. The rest of the Bruisers were to spend their day with various activities on the boat like dance class with Vockah Redu or karaoke or extended drinking or walk into Nassau and explore on their own until the night's blowout concert at a tourist bar called "Senor Frog's."

Walking out of the Port into town, you are given no choice but to wind your way like so many cattle through a long building filled with cheap souvenir hawkers, tour guides, and "Certified Hair Braiders." It was not the most peaceful way to enter an island paradise.

But our family guides knew just the right thing to do with us first -- after winding around the tiny congested streets, we made a stop at Twin Brothers for fruity drinks. Oh. My. Gawd. We all agreed that these were the World's Finest Pina Coladas...smooth, rich, completely devoid of alcohol taste, but believe me, they had alcohol in 'em. I now am spoiled forevermore by these, and would go back to the Bahamas just to sit there and drink these non-stop for the remainder of my days. People do that, you know.

After that, we got back into the car and drove past all kinds of pretty colorful shops and houses, an even more colorful and resplendent wedding in a local park, and stopped briefly at a lookout point.

Our lunch destination was Traveller's Rest, a supremely laid-back restaurant in the village of Gambler. Sitting outside on the patio, we enjoyed the lovely ocean views, talked, drank the local Kalik beer, and ate  delicious Bahamian food. This was my meal: sweet corn, "peas n' rice," and conch fritters.

Here's their video, which could act as a mini-vacation just to watch.

After this extremely relaxing business, we thought maybe a coffee infusion would be a good idea considering the long crazy night ahead, and ended up at a brand-new Whole Foods-like supermarket in a new development. I don't know why it struck me as so weird, ordering an Iced Latte in a sparkling grocery store like my everyday life BUT IN THE BAHAMAS, but it did. The coffee came from Colorado, go figure. Our kind hosts then drove us back to the Port as the sun was just beginning to lower, and we thanked them with many hugs. Bruisers were filtering back en masse to the boat along with us.

Rob and Stacy and I all tried to take a nap in our cabin, but we all giggled about stuff instead. Early-riser Stacy begged off on the concert to spend chill time on the boat, so I packed up my photo gear once again and Rob and I made our way to Senor Frog's through the eerily-deserted Nassau streets.

I had heard earlier from multiple sources that Frog's was a serious dive, but it really wasn't that bad -- I go to dodgier clubs regularly here in Seattle. The staff was nice to me, the burger I ate was decent, and no one died. It's just a place for cruise ship tourists to go and "get crazy," fueled in part by long colorful novelty drinks and wacky signage.

It was exciting to see the club fill up with now-familiar Bruiser faces, already rocking out to a cool DJ set by Cassie Ramone of the Vivian Girls.

Comic Anna Seregina opened the stage with a bit that reminded me of Andy Kaufman's "Foreign Man." I never really liked Andy Kaufman.

After totally loving their endearingly-ramshackle first show in Miami a few days before, I was very excited to see garage-covers supergroup The Togas play again at Senor Frog's. Oh, Togas, Togas, Togas. This time was less ramshackle and more trainwreck-le, with members playing and singing whole songs in different keys, and Ty Segall repeatedly exclaiming, "This one's for the hippies! YEAH!" Drummer Lance Wille did his best to reign in the chaos, but in the end a cheery rolleyes and a couple of beers were the best answer. The crowd loved 'em anyway. It was fun.

The Togas, "Beat On The Brat," Senor Frog's, Nassau 2/11/12

(The Togas Senor Frog's Flickr set)

I seriously did decide to get a burger during Neil Hamburger's comedy set.

As I rested my camera on the table so I could eat, a young girl approached me. We had -- everyone had -- noticed that she and her party of ladies were loudly celebrating a 20th birthday at Senor Frog's by doing copious amounts of body shots which they were slurping off each other. They were assisted by an enthusiastic Senor Frog's employee, who kept pouring stuff in them and on them (which must have made for a nice tab) and surrounded by silent, nodding predator dudes. Anyway, the girl, noticing I was a photographer, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Ma'am? I know this is all really inappropriate and everything, but would you mind taking a picture of all of us with my camera? You remember what it was like to be 20 once, right?"

I bit my tongue into shards of meat, smiled, took her camera, and angled myself to take the perfect group shot, the centerpiece of which was the drunken birthday's girl's unknowingly-peed-in parties on splayed-leg view.

The Soft Pack were up next with confident set which included, "Answer To Yourself," which I just love.

(The Soft Pack Senor Frog's Flickr set)

As I was shooting from my table, my eye caught another scene to my right. There, in a booth surrounded by lovely girls, was Ty Segall, with the most horrified look possible on his face and drool running down his chin. Uh oh, I thought, something's gonna blow. Within seconds, he threw up at the table, which didn't faze the girls one bit. One of them even grabbed a little box for him to puke in while another nonchalantly lit a cigarette. Whoa. Hardcore ladies. Ty left soon afterwards to clean up.

Fucked Up, coincidentally, was the last band of the night and frontman/Bruise Cruise Director Damian Abraham once again delivered fun and theatrics while the band kept the music razor-sharp and nasty. Seattle friends may particularly enjoy this Kurt n' Courtney part of their set, courtesy Noisevox TV. I'm shooting down there in the front somewhere.

Fucked Up, "Breed" and "Miss World," Senor Frog's, Nassau, Bahamas 2/11/12

(Fucked Up Senor Frog's Flickr set)

Jello Biafra ended the night with a massive dance party DJ set, spanning punk, garage, soul, and pop picks from his personal collection. Everyone was loose and happy, dancing and drinking. I roamed around taking pictures and hung out with old and new pals...and another fruity drink or two.

2AM came, and time for Bruisers to get back on the Carnival Imagination to begin the trip back to Miami after quite a day and night on the island. Me, I climbed back up on my Murphy crib and fell soundly and utterly asleep. More fun was to be had onboard for the final day of Bruise Cruise, and we Mom-type punks need to rest up.

(KEXP Bruise Cruise article and KEXP Flickr set, too!)