Oh, surprise, was announced today that punk peripheral Courtney Love will be writing a tell-all memoir, to be published in the fall of 2012. I went on a Twitter tear and wrote up the book chapter titles for her. I'm helpful like that.

-If Enough Of You Buy This Book, I Can Make Up Some More Shit For A Second One 

-I Made Billy Corgan Lose All His Hair, Even His Pubes

-How To Increase Your Press Coverage by 1000% With One Easy Dress Lift

-I'm the NASCAR of Rock: I'm A Total Bore Until I Crash Spectacularly

-I'm A Buddhist, F*ck You

-I Date-Raped Drugged Myself, And Still No One Took Me Up On It

-I Said I'd Never Write A Book, And You Believed Me? HA HA 

-Friendless, Nameless

-Bottom Feeding For Fun And Profit

-How I Made $3.63 From Stripping

-Crowd-Surfing Pantiless Made Me A Feminist Icon 

-Really. Grohl Wanted Me. No, Stop Laughing

-How To Dress Demurely For Multiple Court Appearances

-Parenting To Encourage Early Independence

-How To Get Your Dead Husband's Royalties To Pay For Your Shitty Plastic Surgery 

-Rambling Accusations, Part 20

-The Inadequate Penis Sizes of Famous Men I Know 

-Kurt Hated All Of You, Really  

I suggest we fire up a Kickstarter campaign for her book editor. He or she is going to need years of therapy afterwards.