WHAT??? I haven’t done a single Police Blotter Round-Up YET in 2011? Well, that’s not right at all, so please to enjoy these strange people and their strange crimes from around the U.S. of A.!


Property damage:  An officer who was driving southbound on Summit Avenue near Robruck Drive just before 4 a.m. on April 24 saw what appeared to be a yard on fire in the area of Dorchester Drive near Bub Heritage Park. The officer drove over to the front of 1182 Dorchester Drive and saw something on the road was burning, but was nearly extinguished. Upon checking the burned part of the road, the officer noted that the word PROM was spelled out in large letters. It is believed that the subject spelled out prom with gasoline-covered toilet paper that was held down by small rocks. Police were unable to locate anyone in the area. The matter has been forwarded to the detective bureau for investigation.

Theft: A kid on a bicycle who habitually swipes cookies from a coffee stand on Highway 2 E. struck again.

Disorderly: A pack of feral teenage boys were excessively rude to the mother of one of their friends.

Disorderly: A 14-year-old in a purple halter top yelled and cussed at her mom.

Theft: A 17-year-old City of Oconomowoc boy was cited Feb. 15 for attempting to steal a $57 bottle of cologne from Kohl's, 3105 Golf Road. The boy told police that he took it because his 13-year-old brother was being bullied and the older boy said he learned that if his brother gave the bully a bottle of fragrance, the bully would leave his brother alone, the report said.

Mischief: A baby called 911, pushed some buttons then hung up.

Disorderly: An intoxicated young lady threatened family members with toe-nail clippers, yelled and reportedly ran into traffic. She was taken to juvenile detention.

Harassment: A young man felt he was deceived by a member of the Insane Clown Posse and fellow Flathead High School student who “friended” him on Facebook. The boy feels that this other kid is not who he says he is.

Child welfare: A lone toddler was seen riding his tricycle through an intersection on 10th Ave W.

Suspicious: An Evergreen resident reported that a weepy girl on a horse just knocked on their door asking to use the phone.


Drunken driving: A 50-year-old Oconomowoc man has been charged with his fifth drunken driving offense. Ronald R. Wezyk, 526 Silver Lake St., is facing felony charges and was taken to Waukesha County Jail after being arrested by police at 5 p.m. on March 12. According to the police report, a woman observed a man ahead of her in line at the Pick 'n Save off Highway 16 who appeared to be intoxicated and the clerk confirmed he seemed drunk. The shopper observed the man in the lot drive off and called police and provided a license plate number and description of the vehicle. A City of Oconomowoc officer overheard the Village of Oconomowoc Lake police dispatched for a possible drunken driving complaint and shortly after saw a truck matching that description. The officer saw the truck traveling westbound on Forest Street and Stadium Drive and heard the truck at a stop sign excessively accelerating, causing the engine to race and tires to spin and causing smoke to emit from the spinning tires. The truck was loud and left 62 feet of skid marks on the roadway as a result of a power stand. It then took off at a high rate of speed in a 25 mph residential zone according to the report. Police pulled the vehicle over and said the driver had slurred speech, glossy eyes and when asked how much he had to drink responded, "too much." Wezyk failed the field sobriety tests and registered a .316 on the preliminary breath test. He was taken to Oconomowoc Memorial Hospital for a blood draw. While walking into the hospital, the man asked the officer if they were in Mukwonago because he needed to go to a bachelor party.

Harassment: A Hungry Horse woman reported that her drunken ex-husband violated their parenting plan when he called the night prior and asked what kind of panties she was wearing.

Public urination: Reportedly, an intoxicated man driving a large white vehicle with the license plates “wuteverurinated in a grocery store parking lot.

Drunken driving: A scruffy-haired, toothless drunk was spotted driving his Buick through town.


Disorderly: A 22-year-old City of Waukesha woman was arrested Feb. 18 after a dispute with a 25-year-old City of Delafield man over money involved in an alleged drug deal. According to police, the woman initially called police at about 8:50 a.m. to report a strong-armed robbery. When police arrived, they learned the woman and man had allegedly had a physical altercation. The woman allegedly tried to scratch the man's eyes out and scratched him. The man did have scratches to his face, police said. The woman was physically removed by others in the residence in the 100 block of Stocks Drive, and the woman spread dog feces on the door, police said.

Reckless: Someone in a silver Lexus on Highway 93 reportedly drove really fast, honked the horn then showed someone their middle finger.

Vandalism: Someone on Mission Trail complained that “I suck” had been scratched into their vehicle.

Assault: Someone heard from someone else that a Kalispell man hit a woman on the head with a vacuum.

Disorderly: A woman driving on Highway 93 in Kalispell explained that a big man in a little car yelled four-letter words at her then cut her off.

Disorderly conduct: Police cited Michael Hebert, 30, of Waukesha for disorderly conduct after he damaged a car in the parking lot of Knucklehead Pub. The owner of the car told police he had been involved in a brief confrontation with Hebert at the pub. When he left, he found a key had been broken off in the driver's door and a tire on his vehicle had been flattened. The damage was reported at 8:18 p.m. Jan. 27. Police contacted Hebert, who initially denied being in Eagle, but then later recanted and admitted to breaking the key and flattening the tire.


Theft: Two 17-year-old girls, one from Colgate and the other from Hubertus, were cited for retail theft from Kohl's, 3105 Golf Road, on March 27. The Colgate girl attempted to steal two bras and a shirt, with a total value of $103, and the Hubertus girl attempted to steal two bras, with a total value of $67


Disorderly: Juan Garcia, Dousman, called police to report that he had been punched in the face by Juan Pablo Lopez-Jacinto outside a residence at 124 Henry St. Both men were cited for disorderly conduct.


Theft: Two men, dressed like females, stole four to five digital cameras from Best Buy, 3207 Golf Road, on Dec. 17. The men were able to flee the store. Each camera is valued at $50.

Breaking & Entering: A resident on Seventh Avenue East said someone broke into her house and possibly enjoyed a meal in her basement.

Suspicious: Someone claimed to have seen a fireman and a Great Dane standing together on the side of Highway 2 West.

Animal Control: A chubby dog was seen roaming around Third Avenue West in Kalispell.

Mischief: A man on Fourth Avenue West complained that someone put two tires and a log on his car.

Suspicious: Reportedly, there was a man wearing all black standing in the middle of the Highway in Columbia Falls.

Suspicious: According to an Evergreen gas station employee, a girl tied a horse up to a gas pump then took a nap in the bathroom.

Disorderly: People on Main Street were mooned by a man in a white truck.

Suspicious: Someone on Columbia Falls Stage reported a suspicious situation involving a child running from a man in a van claiming to be her father. The man actually turned out to be her father.

Suspicious: A Kalispell man said “Obama” suggested he call in anything suspicious. He saw a strange vehicle by his mailbox.

Animal control: A Kalispell resident reportedly knows of a rabbit and ferret hoarder.

Reckless: Deputies were alerted that someone on Kelly Road was reading a book while driving.

Suspicious: Apparently, but not surprisingly, there was a creepy short man with missing teeth at a bar in south Kalispell.

Domestic: A woman on Dun Movin Lane alerted deputies that her old boyfriend stole her car that happens to be in his name.

Suspicious: According to a Martin City man, many strange things were going on. The deputy was unable to validate his statements.

Suspicious: The same Martin City man reported knowing of someone doing “fantasy tricks.” It is unknown whether or not the man had been drinking.

Disorderly: A Martin City woman who called 911 five times to ask for phone numbers was strongly advised to stop.

Suspicious: Someone on Bernard Road said they saw a mustached man who smelled like pot riding a bicycle that was too small for him.

Property damage: A Hungry Horse man said a red pickup just drove through his lawn.

Breaking & Entering: A woman on Glendale Drive reported that a woman wearing a pink shirt and overalls barged in through her front door and refused to leave.

Theft: On 49th Ave s.w. last week a burglary victim called police at 7:30 a.m. because his garage door had been kicked in the night before and someone stole a case of chocolate milk from the fridge. After securing his/her calcium fix, the burglar opened the car door, fled to the getaway vehicle and left fresh tire tracks in the victim’s lawn as he/she sped away.

Suspicious: Someone found a shovel in a bag.

Suspicious: A man claimed that someone follows him around town and places weird cards on his vehicle. The mysterious cards have an eye and a sequence of numbers on them.

Property damage: A mailbox exploded on Farm View Lane.

Nuisance: Apparently, residents on Park Drive have been burning rabbit feces.

Harassment: A woman on Highway 35 in Kalispell said her mother continues to send her text messages about an old skillet and a vacuum cleaner.

Animal control: A hound dog didn't comply when it was asked to stop eating a dead dear carcass that was blocking traffic.

And finally, my favorite…


Disorderly: Police cited Lucille Goodman, 64, of W291 N2201 Elmhurst Drive, Town of Delafield, for disorderly conduct after she was seen urinating near her car that was parked at Walmart, 2863 Heritage Drive, on March 21.

Theft: Lucille Goodman, 64, of W291 N2201 Elmhurst Drive, Town of Delafield, was cited for retail theft after she attempted to steal three packs of cigarettes, valued at $23, from Sentry, 3255 Golf Road, on Dec. 17.