MORE GARAGE ROCK VIDEO GOODNESS: "LYIN' GIRL" BY REIGNING SOUND!

Another great garage rock song comes my way, and yet another time I find only a static image video for it on YouTube? UNACCEPTABLE! "Lyin' Girl" is a smokin' hot frug frenzy from North Carolina's Reigning Sound, one of my big fave bands. This song will sear your ears, scramble your eggs, and make you steal quarters out of your grandmother's purse to feed the jukebox down at the Teen Center, even though no one at the Teen Center now has ever heard of a jukebox. IT'S THAT COOL! My video footage was delicately lifted from some vintage '60s deliciousness, and compiled thoughtfully for your entertainment. Check it, cats and kittens! Dig that 'stache!

Reigning Sound, "Lyin' Girl"




"Lyin' Girl" comes from the 2011 Reigning Sound EP "Abdication...For Your Love" which is available FREE FREE FREE AND TOTALLY LEGAL at the wonderful Scion A/V Garage and you can click HERE to get it for yourself LIKE A BOSS! OH YEAH!!

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VIDEO: VERY VERY LOUD XMAS CAROLERS SINGING ON A BOAT

My small neighborhood here on the Eastside of Lake Washington is most often extremely quiet. It's tucked away from any major roads, down a gently sloping hill, and is positively riddled with nature and pricey houses. You would hardly even know that anyone lived here outside of a few cars that drive by and joggers facing the slog going up or the relief coming down the hill. In the springtime, the most annoying sounds come from the birds. Do you have ANY idea how LOUD bald eaglets can be? Jeez. In the summer, I roll my eyes at the daily buzz of Very Loud Fancy Speedboats and Hopefully Expertly-Landed Seaplanes. In the fall, I detest the constant blast of leaf blowers. Oh, the First-World Problems of Suburbia.

And in the winter, by FAR the loudest noises I ever hear come from the annual nightly-for-like-six-weeks lake tours of the Argosy Christmas Ship. It's a beloved holiday tradition here in Seattle and Seattle-ish. Argosy gussies up the very large "Spirit of Seattle" boat with lots of lights, and people buy tickets to chill out on the boat and eat and drink and sing along and drink some more while listening to the 900-part-harmonies of the Dickens Carolers as the boat makes its way to several different docking spots around the lake. At each stop, the public is welcomed to stand and listen to the VERY VERY LOUD MUSIC for about 20 minutes or so. Sometimes there is a bonfire, or gratis hot cocoa.

In years past before I figured out what this WAS, it used to drive me MENTAL. At times, depending on where the boat is docked, I can hear the music PERFECTLY from inside my house, all doors and windows shut for winter, of course, and I'm not super-close to the lake because I am not rich. It sounds like some insane party that you can't even imagine hosting or attending, but you can never quite pinpoint where it IS. So, now I know, and when I hear the ending disco funk of the "Hallelujah Chorus," I know the Christmas Ship will be moving on.

Last night, I took MissNine and we went down to actually SEE the Christmas Ship. Other smaller boats (and all boats on Lake Washington are smaller than this beast) are invited to decorate with lights and tag along behind the Big Boy for the night. No longer do you have to imagine what this might be like, because I took some video. MissNine thought it was way cool and I enjoyed the free Starbucks Mocha and gingerbread samples.

You can from now on further enjoy the thought of me sitting here in my home trying to write stuff in November and December while trying to not be distracted by the lilting insanity of "Holly Jolly Christmas." LA LA LA LA LA.

Argosy Christmas Ship, Carillon Point, Kirkland WA, 12/20/11

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MY REVIEW & PHOTOS OF TONY BENNETT AT THE PARAMOUNT...NOW ON BACK BEAT SEATTLE!

What a genuine honor it was to be able to not only attend last weekend's concert by the incomparable Tony Bennett, but to be able to photograph him as well! I'm still just awestruck. It was a definite highlight of my entire concertgoing year, that's for sure. You may click RIGHT HERE and it will magically take you to my review and photos on Back Beat Seattle! Thanks!

If you have a chance to see Tony perform, do what ya gotta do to get there. That's what I'm tellin' you.

Tony Bennett & Stevie Wonder, "For Once In My Life"

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THE POST OFFICE, ON THE MONDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Ungainly, awkward, overloaded
I see the piteous glances directed my way
Those who have finished their tour of duty, leaving
Sadly looking at me, on my way in
As I am carrying two cardboard boxes so huge
I cannot really see where I am going.

Yet
I know where I am
The Post Office, on the Monday before Christmas.

Every year, it is exactly the same
Yet
I cannot seem to shop and wrap any earlier
To avoid
The Post Office, on the Monday before Christmas
So
I suck it up
And try not to fall down
Much.

Aghast I am
When upon reaching the doors to the facility
I see
That there is not only one line threading through the lobby
And out the door
But
TWO LINES!

TWO LINES!

Lamentations!

After some heavy sighs and the rolling of eyes
I inquire at those overburdened prats like me, in front of me
Which line I should participate in
And am directed to
The Line Where You Are Sending More Than One Thing.

I set my boxes on the floor and kick them when the line moves forward
But it takes a very long time to move forward
And I try not to kick the boxes so hard that they
Disengage from the Post Office, on the Monday before Christmas
Through a large plate glass window.

How lucky I am!
A mother with three children under three years old
Gets in line behind me
The oldest asks his mother how long it will take
About 20 times.
The baby blows snot bubbles.
The toddler runs away
The mother runs after the toddler, holding the Snot Baby
And Little Questioner looks at me, and I shrug.

A woman about mid-way up in the line bolts
Holding a brown-paper-wrapped rectangle
That is surely a Most Interesting Book She Thought You Would Like
And she mutters, "It's not worth it,"
Well, duh, Ma'am, duh.

Eventually, I am served
Me and my large packages.
"Do you want to guarantee Christmas Delivery and select Express Mail?"
I look at my large packages
And purse my lips
Successfully restricting my mouth from saying, "HELL, NO"
And politely ask if the packages may be sent Priority Mail
At the Post Office, on the Monday before Christmas.

$27.87.
EACH!
Be gone, packages, be gone!
They are both loaded on the top of an already-overloaded postal cart
Good luck with that, I think
And try not to think about anything that may be glass inside.

VOOM!
My speed leaving the Post Office, on the Monday before Christmas
Is considerably faster
Having been relieved of my burden
And $55.74
And when I see a couple
Warily approaching the doors, I say
"Go To The Line For Shipping Only One Item"
They nod, grimly
And I clap my hands as I reach my car, and leave.

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VIDEO: BEST OF FAILS 2011

Busy day here at Rancho Helliday, but I have something very enjoyable to bring you anyway. That is if, like me, you enjoy watching scads of people wipe out in spectacular fashion, courtesy this compilation video from TwisterNederland. All I can think of when watching this is that our educational system has not done a good enough job in instructing citizens in the basic laws of physics.

Some language NSFW, which is totally and utterly reasonable. The one were the dog starts howling in the distance after a fail cracks me up the most. Please to enjoy!!

Best of Fails 2011 video

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XMAS PRESENT WRAPPING HAIKU TIME

who took the scotch tape?
when I find out who did it
i shall berate you.

oh, christmas gift bag
you are looking quite shabby
reused many times.


what present is this?
i have wrapped you and now i
don't know what you are.


my daughter says, please!
i want to wrap, too! and she
quits in five minutes.


i apologize
for all the damn dog hair stuck 
on the damn scotch tape.


cheap cardboard shirt box!
you are so thin and weak that
your corners rip now.


underestimate
when cutting wrapping paper
the ends don't meet, damn.


self-adhesive bow!
untruthful decoration!
you fall off, always.


there's something very
satisfying in curling
ribbon with scissors.


my efforts degrade
and wrapping now looks like a
frankenstein patch job.


the temptation is
strong to wrap nothing more and
just go, here! take it!


oh! when will it end?
the answer is known, well-known:
late on christmas eve.

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MY XMAS NEAR-MELTDOWN IN THE DISCOUNT STORE

This is the fourth December I have written this statement here on the ol' blog:

I HATE DECEMBER SO MUCH.

Call me a miserable Scrooge; I DON'T CARE. December has utterly devolved for me over the years into just days and days of DO DO DO and GO GO GO, and not in the good DO GO way that I so love. It's just endless tasks and frustrations, long lines and long lists, crappy weather and crappy traffic, and sullen-eyed Salvation Army bell ringers who stare blankly through you into parking lots jammed with filthy winter-muddy cars and who grunt like grim Santa-hatted ogres when you put a buck in the red bucket. It's 900 emails a DAY screaming, "SAVE NOW! HOLIDAY! 40% OFF! FREE SHIPPING WHEN YOU ENTER CODE #CONSUMERWHORE-LIDAYS NOW!" It's getting invitations to cool parties and shows I CAN'T GO TO because I have to devote every December day and night to MAKING IT ALL HAPPEN!

BAH! HUMBUG!


I should have figured that today was not going to be a particularly tolerable December day right away. If you know me, you know that I am more or less not available in the mornings because I try my very best to remain unconscious at that time. I often don't go to bed until 3 or 4AM and I am a fan of sleeping. So, when I got a call this morning at 8:15AM telling me that MissNine had forgotten the book-exchange gift she was to bring to her classroom party today, the one that we had both purchased and wrapped and was sitting about 4 feet from the door as she went out this morning, I was not very happy to hear that another trip would have to be made today.

SIGH.

I sort of went back to sleep but it wasn't high-quality snooze and I got up around 10AM, bleary and with eyes so bloated they looked like tiny pufferfish hanging out on my face. A cup of coffee and a shower didn't improve the situation.

Off to pick up Mr13 from school midday. He pattted me on the back as he scrambled into the back seat and said all chipper-like, "Hi, Mom! Wow! You look tired!"

GREAT!

Off we go to Target, busy as hell, to get him some winter boots so he can go snow tubing on Monday. "Can't you just buy them? I don't want to go in," he whines.

"NO. YOU ARE COMING IN."

His cheeriness faded rapidly. He hates shopping. It's like dragging along a reluctant puppy with big mopey eyes who keeps glancing to the doors wondering when he can escape. We find the boots, then continue on with a few more items for Christmas until the cart is somehow filled with $300+ worth of crap.

Checkout lane #13 is open.

Dummy. Don't pick 13! OF COURSE, after I loaded all the crap onto the belt, the price scanner STOPPED WORKING COMPLETELY. This sent several Target employees into a tizzy, entering supervisor codes, clicking uselessly on the scanner gun, and the checkout lady yelling at everyone who tried to put their stuff on the belt behind mine,

"YOU CAN'T CHECK OUT HERE! MY SCANNER IS DOWN! THANK YOU!"

Mr13 looked at me like he was being sent to Guantanamo. One by one, the item codes were entered by hand, but the checkout lady's eyesight was not so great, or perhaps her fingers were too fat. Time after time, she entered the wrong numbers.

I had no food to eat yet, just the coffee, and considered grabbing the screaming toddler in the next aisle over to take a good meaty chomp.

Many years later, the checkout process was finally finished, we drove the gift book over to MissNine's school, went home and dropped off the Target stuff and Mr13, noted that my $2430 CHRISTMAS PRESENT OF HARD DRIVE CRASH RECOVERY was left in a box at the doorstep, left again to pick up MissNine, came back, made dinner, then took Mr13 to martial arts class. On the way back home from dropping him off, I stopped by discount store Tuesday Morning, thinking perhaps I could get a few more little items for Christmas for my mom before I shipped a box off to her. I poked around, not seeing too much, when I noticed that I was feeling increasingly IRRITATED. Over the store PA system, this song was playing:

Alanis Morissette, "All I Really Want"



Now, I've had my share of moments listening to bad piped-in store music; we all have. But as this song kept playing, I kept getting more and more MAD, although I don't think you could have seen it. Well, OK, if you were around when I muttered "Jesus F-ing Christ! This is horrible!" you might think I was having some issues. It kept going. This, I thought, is possibly the worst professional million-selling female vocalist in the known world. Her wildly off-key pitch and harsh nasality combined with that INTOLERABLE GASPING AND HICCUPING YELP SHE DOES was enough to get me to do something I have NEVER ONCE EVER done in my whole life.

I took my shopping basket and made my way to the counter. I looked the clerk in the eye. She was about my age and looked similarly tired. I spoke, making the same sad puppy face Mr13 had made in Target.

"This song...is terrible. Would you mind changing it?"


She looked a little shocked. I made my face look more pathetic. Then she leaned over the counter closer to me and replied quietly, in a husky voice whose patina was surely honed by 30 or so years of whiskey and Marlboros,


"It IS terrible, hon. You got it!"


She walked to her left through a door that led to a side room, and instantly, Alanis was replaced by Patsy Cline. Ahhhhh. "Thank you so much," I grinned.


I continued my shopping, got a few more things now that I could be Alanis-free, checked out and drove home, where MissNine promptly asked,


"DID YOU GET A GIFT FOR MEEEEE?"


CHOMP.

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HIPPOS: WHO KNEW THEY COULD DO THIS???

I played this video over and over and laughed and laughed. Yes, I am five years old. WOW! This guy could solve the energy crisis!

AWESOME HIPPO

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VIDEO: STEVIE RIKS TAKES ON RAY & DAVE DAVIES

After seeing this tip from Kinks fan Kevin Wayne on the venerable Kinks Digest mailing list this morning, I felt compelled to share this video of musical comic Stevie Riks' dead-on take of the Davies Brothers. The only things I might take note as slight imperfections are that Dave Davies' voice is actually even higher, and that Ray would never be so patient.

Stevie Riks, "Ray and Dave Davies: Brotherly Love"

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IF YOU CAN ONLY BUY ONE THING FOR THE HOLIDAYS...

I beseech you. I beg you. I plead.

PLEASE.

PLEASE!!!

Make it this Horsehead Mask, which can be found at Archie McPhee here in Seattle for a mere $24.95.

Dramatic Horsehead Mask video





I just am so pleased with the idea of random people all over the world opening up beautifully-wrapped horsehead masks that I can't even stand the joy. DO IT AND TAKE A PHOTO AND I'LL POST IT!

I love you all.

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HEY, UBER-RICH D-BAG! WANNA BUY A DINOSAUR-INFUSED IPAD FOR XMAS?

I'm not often rendered speechless, but I came across a website a few days ago that so stunned me in its ridiculousness that I required some time to process what I had seen. Taken as a whole, it's hard to know whether to laugh or cry at stuarthughes.com which caters to the utter stupidity and crass wastefulness found in insane billionaire consumerists, but I'm going to choose the former response. My GOD. If there was ever, EVER, proof that one can be TOO RICH, it's that Liverpool-based (Liverpool? Really?) designer Stuart Hughes seems to be doing quite well by making the DUMBEST CRAP I HAVE EVER SEEN THAT SELLS FOR THE MOST MONEY. Here are a few of his horrific ugly-ass creations for your amusement.

THE GOLD-AND-DIAMOND ENCRUSTED, DINOSAUR-BONE-SHAVING INFUSED IPAD 2

Yes, you read this correctly, and no, it's not a joke. For a mere 8.14 MILLION DOLLARS, you can own this foolish gadget that will be technologically obsolete in MERE MONTHS. The "iPad 2 Gold History Edition" has 12.5 carats of flawless diamonds, 2000 grams of 24k gold, with a frame made of Ammolite, the oldest rock in the world, AND thigh-bone shavings of a a 65 million year old T Rex. WHY? WHY? Why plop 8 million + of THAT on a $500 piece of disposable pop electronics? If you think this is cool or would EVER think of owning it, you are incomprehensible to me. I demand RIGHT NOW that you give me your money. I'll find something better to do with it, which would be ALMOST ANYTHING.

THE 44 MILLION DOLLAR BOTTLE OF CHEAP ITALIAN LEMON-FLAVORED LIQUEUR 

Even worse is buying a bottle of D'Amalfi Limoncello and pasting 3 flawless fat diamonds on the neck, increasing its price by $43,999,983.00. This is surely the Official Drink of Lucifer. I'm waiting for Hughes' The-Real-Jesus-Christ-DNA-infused Heineken.

$900,000 FOR A SUIT THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE LIBERACE OR SOME NASHVILLE HACK SINGER

I have to laugh at this FAQ statement from Stuart Hughes on his site: 

What makes Stuart Hughes designs stand out from other luxury items ?

Simple, his personal desire from day one to be utterly unique.

Stuart Hughes has been a world recognised designer for years now, a proclaimed designer and NOT a self proclaimed designer who sees it fitting to run to the nearest jewellers with the latest gadget to request diamonds putting in. Each and everyone of Stuart Hughes’s designs take months of planning before they go to production .

LOL! Dude, you are SO the "slap some diamonds on it" guy!! Cashmere wool and a custom tailor = not enough profit. PUT SOME DIAMONDS ON THAT SUIT! MUCH BETTER! This is just weird-looking. Nudie suits > this.

THE GOLD-RIMMED, MAMMOTH-AND-DINOSAUR-INFUSED AQUARIUM

When I showed MissNine some of this stuff, she reasonably commented that she thought it was illegal for regular folks to own pieces of mammoths or dinosaurs. "I guess not," I responded, "but it should be." Instead of residing in a museum or a scientific research center and bettering humanity, these bits of mammoth tusk and dino bones are in a giant friggin' FISH TANK that will sit in the home of a filthy-rich showoff jerkball. Wow. GOLD IS SO CLASSI. My wish here is that after said jerkball pays $4.8 mil for this and gets it installed that the weight of the solid gold rips the wall to pieces and it comes down in a massive crash, causing a home tsunami of great devastation.

I cannot bear to go on, but you may of course continue your guffaws at Mr. Hughes' expense on his site if you like. I'm sure it doesn't bother him one bit. I'm waiting for vile Oprah to start gushing over him any day now. 

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HOLIDAY 2011: FIVE FAB FINDS FOR PHOTO FANATICS

I know this may come as a shock to you, but I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY! There's a pretty good chance that you do, too. Photography is such an accessible art, both to view and participate in. Amateurs can produce images of great beauty and interest, and even the most revered professionals can spend a literal lifetime improving and growing. Photos capture our world, our lives, like nothing else.

One could also spend a lifetime depleting a bank account buying photography gear, gadgets, and related items; there is SO MUCH cool stuff! Endless. So today, just in time for our beloved holiday season buying frenzy, I am going to post up these five items of photo goodness that I own and particularly love, and that you or your photo nut family or friends might also love, slanted a bit towards DSLR serious amateur/semi-pro/pro photogs.

1. Think Tank camera bags/accessories. Fact: if you are spending a few thousand bucks on camera equipment, you need to invest in something to carry it around in, unless you intend to never leave your home and only take photos of your cat. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Mr. Fluffy, but most people do like to take photos wherever they go, for work or play. Choosing a camera bag is hard, because there are so many, and most of them seem to be so similar. This year, I became a real fan of the Think Tank line, and I just cannot say enough good about all their products. From ergonomic, thoughtful, practical design to build quality to ease of use to flexibility, Think Tank excels. Everything I have asked of my Speed Freak v2.0 bag it has done for me flawlessly: it holds everything I need on a shoot with all items instantly available to me, the zippers are super-sturdy yet swift, it's incredibly comfortable to wear for hours at a time with a very well-padded crossbody strap, pull-out waist straps, and compact, curved design, has a built-in rain cover, and is lightweight but well-padded. It's held up beautifully through months of use. Their motto is "Be Ready 'Before The Moment'" which is what it's all about for so many types of photography, from concert to sports to street to candids.

Think Tank Speed Freak 2.0 video

2. Nik Software: If I had to point to the one thing I acquired this year that most helped to improve the quality of my images, it's this collection of photo processing software plug-ins. I cannot tell you how many times Nik has helped me salvage photos that otherwise would have been unusable, or made an ordinary shot into an eye-catching image. I wouldn't be without them now, and I thank Seattle photographer Laura Musselman for recommending them to me. The plug-ins are compatible with Photoshop (CS3 through CS5), Photoshop Elements (6 through 9), Lightroom (2.3 or later), and Aperture (2.1x and later). From adaptive noise reduction (Dfine) to multi-level sharpening (Sharpener Pro) to near-infinite color and contrast choices (Color Efx Pro) to spectacular b/w conversions (Silver Efx Pro) to all-around workhorse (Viveza) to wild HDR effects (HDR Efx Pro), I use them all, and many in combination on a single image. And they are FUN! You can play forever with these! If you are just getting started in photo processing your digital images, get the trial downloads for Photoshop Elements and the Nik trials and dig in. You don't have to be any kind of tech whiz to figure them out, and you'll raise your game instantly. It's a very simple process to buy them if you decide you'd like to keep them around after the trials expire. Check out some before-and-after examples here.

3. The Lens Cap Strap Holder. Despite having great camera bags, the thing I fumble most with on shoots are lens caps. Aw, man... I've dropped them on packed mosh pit club floors, left them on tables and stages and car dashboards, and spent precious seconds digging around in my bag for them when changing lenses. The last time I dropped one was at Thee Oh Sees show last month, when I was standing up high on the side bench balancing sort of precariously, sweating like mad, hovering over a sea of insane dancing people. Plonk! Clatter! There went the lens cap, close to getting smashed by a Beatle-boot-shod Mod. In this case, I tapped the shoulder of a fellow reveler on the floor, smiled pathetically at him, and asked nicely if he might rescue my poor lens cap from certain death. I think he weakly smiled back, rolled his eyes, and retrieved it for me. BUT! With this device, this problem should no longer be a problem! The Lens Cap Strap Holder is a great idea -- it fits on any camera strap (and maybe on a camera bag strap, depending on size), and you just click that baby on there and IT STAYS PUT right in easy reach. If you are a klutz like me, or forgetful like me, or fairly lazy like me, you should click that title link or the one under the photo and buy this at the always-awesome Photojojo.



Buy the The Lens Cap Strap Holder at the Photojojo Store!

4. Hipstamatic. If you have an iPhone and you are not using this awesomely-fun photo app, you are really missing out. Hipstamatic with its perfect low-fi vintage square shots often delivers pictures that I love even more than the ones I take with my pro gear. There's just something uniquely charming about them. You can purchase extra "packs" for the app, which contain presents for lens type, "film," filter, flash, etc. including a brand-new "Foodie Pack" because like me, you really, really like to take pictures of restaurant food and upload them to Twitter or Facebook. I <3 Hipstamatic, the world's most popular photo app, and so should you.

5. Vivian Maier, Street Photographer, ed. John Maloof, Powerhouse Books, 2011. Vivian Maier's story is one of the most compelling that I can think of in photography's history. It is made all the more exquisite for the fact that it was mere chance that her entire body of work -- over 100,000 images taken over a span of several decades in the mid-to-late 20th Century -- was not lost forever as the unclaimed warehouse property it became as she entered a nursing home, with no family to claim her belongings, or her. The book's editor and Maier image conservator John Maloof, hoping to find a few old photos he could use for the book he was hoping to write about the Portage Park neighborhood, instead stumbled upon several plastic bins jam-packed with Maier's negatives and prints, completely unmarked with any identifying info. After a cursory look, he decided to purchase most of them, thinking he might get lucky and find something suitable for his project. Instead, he ended up discovering one of the most gifted street photographers ever seen, and embarked on a mission to discover who the photographer was, how her negatives ended up one step away from being dumped in a landfill, and how such brilliance apparently remained hidden from the entire world up until that moment. In an even more sadly-dramatic twist, after the extreme difficulty of figuring out who took the photos and where she lived, Maloof discovered that Maier, ill for some time, had died only the month before, and only a few miles away. After reading about Maloof's determination to see Maier's work preserved and brought to the public, I was honored to be able to donate to the Kickstarter campaign that would fund negative restoration and scanning, with exhibits, a fine-art book, and a film planned. The book was published last month, and it is beautiful. Maier's portraits of everyday Chicagoans, whether an older couple asleep on public transportation, children playing in a dead-end alleyway, snooty doyennes, wretchedly poor, herself reflected in the tall shop windows, show masterful composition with a deep understanding of light and texture, and compassion, humor, even anger. The world she shows us is stark and imperfect, yet underlying every photograph we see Maier's ability to make something beautiful, if also often concurrently sad, from the ordinary. I am a better photographer, and perhaps even a better person, for being able to view her work.

Shoot in peace and prosperity in 2012, my brethren!

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"IF MT. RAINER ERUPTED" BY MISS NINE

(I know at this busy holiday season we are all paralyzingly preoccupied with the idea of volcanic eruption, so today I bring you, unedited, Miss Nine's speech about our local very large volcano, Mt. Rainer. You are welcome.)

IF MT. RAINER ERUPTED!!!!!!!!


There can be a lot of things that could happen here. Like if an avalanche happened or a lahar. So that's why I'm here to talk to you about if it erupted. Can you think about all the things? I'm going to tell you.

It would burst smoke out it. It would travel across the world! You might need a gas mask. It would make earthquakes! You could not go many places because your engine could clog up so you can't drive!

It would kill wildlife! Not a lot of vegetation would be there any more. Less resources! Less population there! There are so many things that could happen. The things I told you are just a few things!

Try to listen to when a volcano erupts. Be careful around mountains. Also try to get out of the area if a mountain erupted. That's my report on IF MT. RAINER ERUPTED.

The End.

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HO HO HO! DECK THE HALL BALL 2011 NOW UP AT THE AUDIO PERV!

Time flies, eh? Last year at this time, I attended The End 107.7's annual Deck The Hall Ball mega-concert at WaMu Theater with (then-aged) Miss Eight. I wasn't able to shoot it, so she and I teamed up for coverage from the waaay back seats, me with a point n' shoot and M8 with her trusty pen and paper. We had a blast. This year, I was able to photograph the bash (located at Seattle's Key Arena this time) with my proper professhunnul eeekwipmint for one of the sites I work with, The Audio Perv. Miss (now) Nine had to remain at home, but I did buy her some sushi for dinner to compensate.

It was an interesting experience, especially in contrast to the last show I attended, which was Thee Oh Sees at the >500-capacity Crocodile. I'll explain it a bit for those of you who might be curious how this all works. I had never shot at Key before, and since I was not reviewing the show as well this time, I had special rules. The approved photographers like myself who were not shooting for the radio station itself were allowed inside the barrier between the attendees and the stage -- "the pit" -- to photograph each  band for the 1st three songs of their sets, using no flash, of course. We were escorted in and out of the pit 10 minutes before each act began, and immediately after the end of the 3rd song to an area used for loading in equipment, where we hung out until called up again to shoot. I never got to meet my Audio Perv colleague Grant Ruby, who wrote the show review, because his pass allowed him on the arena floor but not the photographers waiting area, and my pass didn't allow me on the arena floor! It was all kind of surreal, but I had a delightful time hanging out with my fellow foto friends, some nice Seattle Center employees, and had a great visit with another new friend who works at Key and took the time to find me to sit and chat on the chilly concrete floor!

I love my friends, and I do really love to photograph shows. The Key stage is really wide, high but not too-high, and the lighting was significantly different for each band, seven in all. What was the same was that each group seemed genuinely excited by the young crowd's enthusiasm, smiles, and cheers. So, do go and check out Grant's review on The Audio Perv right HERE! You can see more of my photos by clicking on any of the links below, too.

Mumford & Sons Audio Perv (Flickr set)

Death Cab For Cutie Audio Perv (Flickr set)

Cage the Elephant Audio Perv (Flickr set) (PS. and my favorite band of the night)

Foster The People Audio Perv (Flickr set)

Young The Giant Audio Perv (Flickr set)

Two Door Cinema Club Audio Perv (Flickr set)

Grouplove Audio Perv (Flickr set)

(misc. DTHB 2011 shots Flickr set)

And to top it off? I got ACTUAL PHOTOS OF JESUS HOBNOBBING BACKSTAGE! I RULE! Later, everyone!

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MISS NINE'S COMMENTS ABOUT BANDS WITH THE WORD "BLACK" IN THEIR NAMES

We talk about music a lot in my family, so it's not at all unusual for Couch Young Adult to filter down from his Sloth Pit to share a YouTube video of something he likes with me. or for my daughter, Miss Nine, to comment briefly and randomly about bands (or anything at all, really). There are a lot of bands with "Black" as part of their group name, and I have over the last couple of months compiled a list of comments Miss Nine has made regarding these bands. Think of it as Comment Theme Night. I'll include videos of the songs she specifically was hearing at the time of her opine sprees.

I know she has to grow up someday, but I hope it's not too soon.

The Black Lips, "Raw Meat" (NSFW words)

"They are like the Ramones'... father."





The Black Keys, "Lonely Boy"

"Do you know why I slept through their show? Because all their songs sound the same."





Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Berlin"

"Is this about being tired after running a lot? When he says he's 'fighting just to breathe' and then goes 'ooh uhh,' I mean. He asks for help a lot."




Black Mountain, "The Hair Song"

"This is Led Zeppelin. I thought they were dead."




Black Flag, "TV Party"

"Wow. These dudes really like TV! I don't know any of the shows they like. Ha ha, are they friends of (Couch Young Adult)?"




Black Angels, "Bad Vibrations"

"This sounds like the exact opposite of the 'Good Vibrations' song, but they both have wiggly sounds in them."





Black Sabbath, "Paranoid"

"Ha ha, these guys sound like hippies trapped in a big old bathroom!"



Black Eyed Peas, "Don't Stop The Party"

"This is horrible. Why would anyone listen to this? It's so awkward"

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