Oh boy! I'm super happy to bring you yet another previously-unreleased gem from Midwestern underground punk legends the Performa-Chords! The Performa-Chords were so badass that they relied on two rules for their entire recorded output: 1. No rehearsal - everything is 1-2-3-GO and made up on the spot, and; 2. NO DO-OVERS, EVER. "Columbia Record Club" is from 1982 (pretty sure, anyway) and features Dena on lead vocals and drumsticks and Marianne on guitar and extraneous vocals. It has two bad words in it, and just to clarify, we love Joe "King Carrasco! Please to enjoy, and you can download it for THE FREES at Soundcloud HERE, if you enjoy very very very very very obscure lo-fi bands! Thanks!


See the club now
Join the Columbia Record Club
Kenny Rogers!
Michael McDonald and Fleetwood Mac

Pick one!
Pick two!
Pick three!
Pick four!
Pick 'em as many as you want!
'Cause they're all good

It's the Columbia Club
I've just joined it
Boy, am I happy!
It's the Columbia Club
They've got every record you could possibly want

There's no X there
There's Survivor
And that's enough for me!

It's all too cool
'Cause it's Columbia!
And that's a country where
Joe "King" Carrasco would probably like to go
And eat mushrooms
Stupid f*ckhead

Ohhhhhh, Columbia
(Fill in the box and win an extra record!! AAAHH!)
Hey! Is this the one that Dick Clark sponsors?

They've got tapes here
They've got cassettes
They've got 8-tracks
They've got reel-to-reels
But who's got a reel-to-reel thing anymore?
Not my dad for sure
First he had that
Then he had 8-tracks
Then he got cassettes
And he's such an asshole!

The Performa-Chords, "Columbia Record Club"