People are such turds sometimes. The National Organization of Women (NOW) gets the Turd Award of the Day from me, picking on David Letterman and his sexual scandal. I am not a member of NOW. I am a member of HERE and NOW, my very own group that I am making up right as I type these words, which stands for HEY! EVERYBODY! REALLY! EVERYBODY! and NOT ONLY WOMEN! I am a feminist, but also not a misery-riding TURD (Tool Utterances Ruthlessly Delivered). NOW’s agenda, once meaningful and current, now just comes off as over-the-top, bitter, and random. Pick your battles, ladies; this one is a waste of your “talent and skills.”

Does anyone at all really believe that David Letterman set up an “inappropriate, if not hostile, workplace environment?” Anyone? Does anyone at all really believe that guy was walking around all Big Mack Daddy with his schlong hanging out, offering up bottled water from the green room and airtime to starstruck female interns? Annoucing “LISTEN UP! I AM SETTING THE WORKPLACE TONE! IT’S THE SOUND OF ME POPPING A VIAGRA!” Do you think he and Paul Shaffer were having “sword fights” in the CBS hallways? Anyone?

“Awkward, confusing and demoralizing situation” could describe ANY WORKPLACE, you ninnies. HA HA. Work.

There is a massive difference between a boss setting up an intentional, predatory, and unfair environment based on sexual abuse, and sheer thinking-only-with-your-wang stupidity. Letterman falls into the latter category, and will now suffer far more than any girl from the show he had sex with. Unless he really, really, really sucked.

NOW always assumes that all men stand with all men on every issue, and believes that CBS won’t appropriately censure Letterman because their board of directors is primarily male. How horrible and ignorant to think that just because your blathering isn’t going to get you the outcome you want, it’s because of DISCRIMINATION. Lame lame lame.

People are never going to be gender-blind. As long as there is libido, there will be folks who make mistakes because of it at the workplace or anywhere else. No one gets neutered as they walk in the door at their job, you know, and sometimes smart people do stupid stuff. Welcome to reality, NOW. Put your energies into lobbying for equality in funding medical research for women, or developing leadership programs for young women AND young men that nurture character and thoughtfulness and strength – gender-neutral qualities. Riding the coattails of a celeb case just to get NOW’s dusty and irrelevant name back in the press does you no good.

If anyone out there wants to join HERE and NOW, send me your vitals and a full-length photo. Hey baby hey baby hey baby hey.