JEANS 7

Another pleasant respite from the rain day, which always inspires me to go shopping. It doesn't really take a pleasant day; I just really like to bargain clothes shop. MissSix and Mr11's pants seem to be flood-watering these days, so I look for them as well. Children are expensive. Keep that in mind, you people who are thinking of having kids. They are really friggin' expensive, like a fancy dog that lives a lot longer than you expected and needs prescription food and plaid rain jackets and dog Prozac and special grooming. You can't just let them...

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TOMMY

Today it was my pleasure to hear about a new musical project by the New Jersey band, The Smithereens. If you do not know them, I can assure you that they are both talented musicians and the rare Nice Guys as well. I know them in two ways: for their own garage/power pop songs like “Only A Memory” and “A Girl Like You,” and also that they are huuuuuuuuuuuuge fans of many of my favorite bands, like the Beatles and the Kinks and the Who. Yes, I know...

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JACKWHITE: SLUG

I have come to believe that the real value to having children is not to repopulate the earth, nor to grow your own character as a nurturing caregiver, nor to relive your childhood, nor to ensure someone might reluctantly help pay for your D+ rated nursing home in your dotage. No, it is to be randomly amused by them, and the way they see the world. This is only good until they hit their teen years, then their views became highly annoying and painfully...

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NATURE

To: NatureFrom: MeRe: the bald eagles behind my houseDear Nature,Please tell the bald eagles to SHUT THE F UP! 5AM IN THE MORNING WITH THEIR SCREECHING! I NEED SLEEP, DAMMIT!!Yours sincerely,Maria...

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MYBLOODY...NOPE

Unlike many of my contemporaries, I still enjoy going to loud and energetically-obnoxious rock concerts. I am smart enough to know to bring earplugs, kleenex in case the rock toilet has no paper, to wear comfortable shoes suitable for standing and bouncing for several hours, and dumb enough to still expect people not to be total assholes. I do like the option of having an assigned seat, but then I am in for a whole 'nother level of frustration, AKA Ticketbastard and the fact that it's often impossible to snare a good seat anymore. When you have...

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GOAT 2

Another very nice and sunny day, had a long talky lunch at the OOGCP with a friend, took the dog for a splash in the lake and a quickly-paced mile walk back home, with skinny Mr11 jogging alongside. All the pretty people and their dogs were out and about, babies in thousand-dollar strollers, guys in their 50s in shiny '60s muscle cars that they finally could afford to buy already restored, joggers joggers joggers, ice cream eaters, latte sippers, hipsters, groovers, multi-nationals, Pleasant Valley Sunday updated to 2009 Seattle-ish. In the middle...

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PROFIT

My ears. My ears. I haven't talked to my mom for a bit, so my ears are about ready to fall off from phone damage. She is a World-Class Champion Talker, she is, and there is no quick "Hey, how are you, what's up," oh no no no. When you have a conversation with my mom, you can expect to also have to 1. Prepare and eat a full meal; 2. Go to the bathroom, maybe even twice; 3. Take a short nap; 4. Hold a simultaneous conversation with another person, thoughtfully covering the telephone mouthpiece with your hand; and 5. Answer questions on topics...

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DISBELIEVERS

Sometimes songs remind me in a roundabout way how many things have changed in my lifetime, and how what I thought was my future as a little girl ended up changing completely within a few years. Thank you, Massive Cultural Shift! Unless you have stood in this space, with one foot rooted in deep tradition and one in a limitless future, it is hard to describe, and hard to impress the conflict in integrating the two over time.Oddly enough, the song that got me thinking about this was “Daydream Believer” by the Monkees. It was a lyric that never sat...

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HA 10

MissSix commentary, watching "American Idol"-- "Those chairs look like toilet bowls."-- (seeing Vince Neil in the audience) "HA HA HA! That's a man-woman!"-- (after watching Matt Giraud perform) "I didn't like that. It was un-active."-- (close-up on Adam Lambert) "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"-- (watching Simon Cowell react to Paula Abdul talking) "HA HA HA! He thinks what she says is dumb!"Infinitely more entertaining for me, h...

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SAFEWAY 4

There comes a time in every pantry where there is nothing remaining except molding sunflower seeds, a can of clam sauce, five half-eaten boxes of cereal, four loaves of bread with only the crusts left, and apple cider vinegar. Time to go to the Safeway. I didn't really feel up to it, but the sun decided to come out so I thought that was some encouragement on nature's part.The same old cast of characters were there: Customer Service Girl, Meat Dept. Guy, Tard Bagger, Hard Rock Mom Checker, and I reacted to them just the same as I always do, with...

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KUDOS

Every so often, it is good to express random appreciation. So today I give a round of applause to:Paul McCartney: for having the strength to play such a massive gig like Coachella on the 11th anniversary of his wife Linda's death and still put on a great show, for still getting out there despite criticism and mistakes and personal heartache, for still caring about music and showing people a good time.Stephen Hawking: for being a genius with a wicked sense of humor, and showing the world that his disability was never going to kick his ass,and bringing...

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PEEDICAMENT

A lovely, lovely sunny day here today, 70s and perfect. My plan to take the dog for a nice walk down to the lake, OF COURSE, was thwarted because even if it is sunny the black cloud of HA HA follows me, even if it may be invisible to others. My problem? My issue, you ask? Oh, just the minor inconvenience of a SUDDEN RAGING URINARY TRACT INFECTION, IS ALL.Let me describe this for you, if you have never been so blessed with one. Imagine you go to take a regular pee. Then imagine that when you pee, it feels like BURNING FIRE LAVA FROM SATAN'S INNER...

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ICKYTHUMP

The park was busy, filled with children and parents eager to be out of the house after a long grey winter, tourists with cameras taking pictures of the dogwoods, joggers, Frisbee players, bird feeders, homeless people with carts and signs and paper bags, dog walkers and their various canine charges, birds swooping and chirping, cars and buses pulsing around the perimeter. The sun shone down on it all, all this life and green in the middle of the city.It was a lousy place to say goodbye. Too pretty, too public.My head felt like a hammer was pounding...

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ROBYN

I am a long-time fan of the musician Robyn Hitchcock. I first heard him when he was with the Soft Boys, a legendary British strange-pop band. The song that came over the crackling reception of Madison's WORT-FM was "Kingdom of Love," and I loved it immediately. Unfortunately for me, I didn't catch the name of the band as the DJ spoke it after the song, and I wandered aimlessly in the forests of Wisconsin for years until I made my way south to Wax Trax in Chicago and found a 12" single, coincidentally titled "Kingdom of Love." Could it be the same...

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ZIH

I woke this morning from a dream wherein I was in an airplane that had to make an emergency landing in a large field full of concertgoers. I was all like WHOA we are landing in a field. By the time we were nearly to the ground, the plane had morphed into a Mini Cooper and my dog was in the front seat. The landing was flawless, everyone including myself was completely impressed with the pilot, but I was a little bummed that I was stuck wearing pajamas and a trucker hat and had no makeup on.In that vain vein, I got up and took a shower. I don’t really...

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SAYHI

Today I went into Seattle to see a 13 minute and 29 second set by Say Hi, which is a group, which is really a dude named Eric Elbogen who gets some help from two other dudes when he plays live. KEXP, the grand independent radio station out of Seattle that you really should check out (see link to the side, lazy ass), has a Capitol Hill membership appreciation day today and tonight, with live bands and discounts in the neighborhood for members LIKE ME, and Say Hi were set to play at the un-rock hour of 11:30AM. This is nothing but good for me, as...

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SOCIALISTA

A usual Thursday morning here – get kids up for school, make kids breakfast, make kids lunches and pack them in their backpacks, nag kids to finish eating, remind kids to brush their teeth and hair and find their shoes and quit bickering and hey wait finish that sausage, and get them out the door. In the middle of this, today MissSix, out of nowhere and to no one in particular, said, “I liked what Obama said in that speech. Bill Gates shouldn't have all the money, the people who work should have the money because they work.”I stopped shoving granola...

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LITERAL

Now, I consider myself to be one lucky little cub. I was born at the very tail end of the Boomer generation, the baby of the Babies. For me, it was a phenomenal time to be a kid; the ‘60s were such a BIG decade and I was all about BIG. I wonder if that was just who I was or if the times made that in me. Maybe some of both.Anyway, I think of it as nothing but a huge plus that I was very little and taking in all this very rich musical, social, and political content. Little kids have no filters yet; they soak up everything around them like a sponge....

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PETE

From www.kindakinks.net, the source of info for all us Kinks people left in the world:Monday, 13th April, 20092:20 pm - Pete Quaife is taking himself out of the picture, with regards to any sort of Kinks reunion: "I know that this might sound self centered but I have had enough of the transparent, overblown nonsense of what they call 'showbusiness'. This is where I want to be. Surrounded by my own friends and family and able to put the past behind me. As it is, I am more content and happy, painting the Danish countryside and seashore, talking...

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PROCESSING

That nap I wanted for today? FOUR FULL HOURS OF SWEET DELICIOUS COMA. As a load of laundry whirred and clunked away, the dog napped on the porch sheltered from the rain, and the construction guys apparently took the morning off, I rested without interruption. I don't think I dreamed, and if I did it probably was of sleeping.I am trying not to be too much of a crank about the trip. Any time I can learn something or see something new, it is good. But I never was one of these 15-countries-in-10-days kind of person, that never ever appealed to me.I...

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SLEEPSTER

Yes, that was how it felt today, Sleepster instead of Easter. I slept, woke up long enough to eat a lovely cheese and avocado omelet, open my birthday presents, play a bit on the computer, then BAM! Total fatigue and back to bed. The kids were happy, the Bunny did indeed arrive with copious amounts of candy. I ate a tiny bag of jellybeans and marveled that it was more sugary than sugar itself.I smiled all big over my presents. My family, who all know I am goofy, got me new stuff for Garage Band so I can continue making more music and fun: Jam Pack...

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TRIPPED

As a reminder that I was returning to Seattle today, the weather in New York City was chilly-ish and rainy. Of course. I cannot go anywhere without the cloud following me for some kind of duration. The good part is that I didn’t have to do any walking outside today in the rain. What I was allowed was a FORTY MINUTE trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Forty minutes to see one of the world’s most renowned museums (insert Benny Hill theme music here). Well, it was 40 more minutes than I ever had there, anyway.So that I felt less agonized by what...

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ANYTHING

Last full day of the trip. I woke up about as fouled-mooded as I can get, but just tried to stay quiet. This was always going to be a tough week, I knew that. When you are dead tired and overwhelmed on top of it, it just doesn't make things better. There was nothing I could really do about it.As we rode from New Jersey back into Manhattan, I slumped against the bus window, trying to push down a rising tide of morose, and the sky caught my eye. It was the prettiest puff pattern of clouds, so uniform,with the sun glowing right through the middle....

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MUTINY

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.NO MORE.Four hours waiting in line, eight hours travel time on a bus (2.5 hours of that stuck outside the Lincoln Tunnel)for NINETY MINUTES of actual time at the National Archive and the Observation Deck at the Empire State Building. TOTAL. Don't sit there, move along in line, hurry up, hurry up and wait.I would say NO some more but I am so tired NOW that I am past Washington's death bed and into some other kind of surreal world, perhaps, oh maybe, HELL?Plus side: weather was very nice today and I bought...

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MONUMENTAL

If I thought I was tired yesterday, today I am as tired as George Washington himself, listless on his death bed with pneumonia and 800,000 leeches attached to his body. You don't realize the depth of the tired until you stop moving for a bit, as I have done now, then get up again and stiffen like one of those wacky fainting goats. I saw both Mount Vernon and goats today, along with a slew of other memorials, monuments, presidential residentials, and some very amusing and elaborate chickens. I did more Rocky-style running up marble steps and the...

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AYE,SEE,DEECEE

OH MAH GAWD, am I tired.First day sightseeing in Washington, D.C. I am not even quite sure I know what I saw. I think I saw so many important things that I want to all call them by the wrong names, like the American Museum of Natural Koreans, The Archives of Thurmond Monument, The National Maul, and The United States Geritol Building. The wind was wicked today, and my face and hands were so cold, but sometimes the sun came out and it was not so bad. Poor sick Mr11 had a tough day. He was so exhausted that he actually came close to falling asleep...

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DOGDAY

I am such a dumbass. I am sitting here on an airplane, a long flight to Washington, DC, and I decided to watch the in-flight movie, which was Marley and Me. I had read the book and enjoyed it, but had resisted seeing the film in the theater. Why? Because I am a big baby and I knew that I would end up crying. I cannot take any sad animal tales, and of course (SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE LIVING UNDER A CULTURAL ROCK) the dog dies at the end of the movie. Oh yes, you get the whole full-on lifecycle deal, from seeing Marley as an adorable yellow lab pup...

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