Oh ya hey, I'm tote-ly back in Seattle now, but I got more stuff to share with you from my Wis-CAHN-sin visit, eh? Ta-day it's gonna be more ahhd-ball recurds frahm da St. Vinny's and da Goodwill! I even bought a few but I ain't gonna tell ya which ones! Ennyway, please to enjoy!

What in the hell does this '80s-style dancing robot/ant have to do with Big Band music??

I think the Lundstrom kid on the right with his hand to his mouth is beginning to doubt the existence of of Santa.


What is this -- a camera shot from the terrified cat's viewpoint?

 The house is way more hip than the people. GET WITH IT, SQUARES!

Yes, I often think of rural America as "Playboy Country."


If this is Ellie May's "sentimental" look, I'd like to see her "wondering when Dr. Phil is on today" look.

What is this?? "Jingle Bells" done by burping Tupperwares?

OK, let's just FACE THE MUSIC and get this horrible dancing done. There's nothing anyone can do about it now.

 It would be funny if this were nothing but gunshots and Lee Marvin saying, "Yep."

Well, that's a tricky way to get some applause, Mr. Henderson.

 Surely this is the sound of harmonic wheezing.

I remember thinking how intensely creepy MUZAK was -- that some knob in a lab was arranging or composing music to manipulate my mood while I was trapped in an elevator or the dentist chair. When I read the title of this LP. "Stimulus Progression: Number Two," though, I was hoping it was music to make you poop.

That one time you were on the cover of a record album and the photographer used a picture where you had your eyes closed.

OK, let's break into two groups: first group gets lunch, second group gets to mourn Grandpa!

Shine on, Ms. White!

Arvil Nix: Mod for Jesus?

 I have a song to sing...and a hairline to lose.

Gosh, with that haircut how could any woman resist ol' Moe?

Looks like Ray had his album cover shot by a '70s high school senior portrait photographer! SWEET!

 Go, gather them in! There's a sale on RED SUITS!

Sorry, I CANNOT hear those pioneers in this poorly-composed Western background. Also, NICE SHIRT.

I'm guessing a WMSE intern either really liked mellow rock, or hated it so much he wrote in his own blood.

Could you be as snappy a dresser as Lon? NOPE!

And finally...I am thinking this "POPS" orchestra is made up solely of a grandfather clock pendulum, a typewriter, and a terrifying stuffed kitten with a human face. Imagine.