Right now, almost all of the United States is suffering through an unusually-brutal cold weather blast (for instance, right now at my mom's house in Wisconsin it is -18F without the wind chill calculated). But since I am lounging around at 43F, I have the mild climate luxury to create a helpful idiom graphic for the millions of citizens and hapless news reporters who have exhausted their abilities to describe just how cold it really is out there. It's easy to use: just go to the first bubble, pick a word, then follow the arrow to "AS A," then follow the next arrow and choose another word, then follow one last arrow and pick one more word to finish your new phrase, like "Cold as a Disney™ executive's heart," or "Bitter as a wizard's gonads." You can play with the combinations for hours, and you may well be, since you are probably stuck at home with frozen pipes anyway. Please to enjoy!