I MADE YOU A "MALLMART" BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING FLYER (NSFW)

Click flyer pages to enlarge, SHOPPERS! ...

MINI VALUE VILLAGE WEIRD STUFF ROUND-UP!

I hope you are all enjoying the first night of Thanksgivukkah, or Hanugiving, or Eating Stuff x ∞. Today, I bring to you a few more odd thrift store items that, if you are very very very very very good, might be headed your way 'round December 25th. Or very very very very very bad...either way, really. Please to enjoy! The only hint that "World's Best Mom" used to be "World's Easiest Date" is that heavy application of light blue eyeshadow. I believe...

OH, IT'S UNUSUAL, ALRIGHT: HERE'S SOME DODGY TOM JONES IMPERSONATORS!

There are some musicians that just cannot be mimicked without making yourself look like a bucktoothed, daisy-wearing jackass in the process. I try to get in the head space, for instance, of those middle-aged men who find it their calling in life to get on a stage and ape the voice and mannerisms of Sir Tom Jones, Welsh pop legend. I mean, hey, you can give it a shot, but GOOD LUCK, BUDDY. If it were that easy to deliver on the massive voice and the...

THE LAZIEST THANKSGIVING MENU EVER!

Are you like me, friend? Are you already totally burnt-out and SO VERY OVER the holidays? Are you dreading the hundreds of cheerful and savior-like human interactions that you will be faced with in the next month or so? Is their nothing left in your decorative gourd of a skull to even begin to contemplate all the presents and meals and do-gooding you are responsible for? Well, put your feet up, my slothful compadre, because I'm going to save you...

NOVEMBER, 1963

The life of a young child is shaped by the comfort of routines -- the growing understanding that when the sun comes up each morning you will be greeted with your mother's kind smile and a warm breakfast, you will play, eat, rest, rock in a chair, pet the dog play, eat again, read a book with your father and, as it becomes dark, you return again to your bed to sleep. The early routines of care and nourishment build trust and attachment, and all of...

NEW VIDEO: "THE PREYING MANTIS" BY THE LEN PRICE 3

I am delighted to bring you this new found-footage video today, which I created upon special fab gear request for The Len Price 3, a kickass buncha garage-poppin' Brits you want on your radar screen, hepcats! Check out this beat-driven, bugged-up romance-gone-wrong story, why dontcha! The Preying Mantis  ©2013 The Len Price 3  You killed and ate your lover,  Because you want to be a single mother,  You calculate...

I MADE YOU A CHILDREN'S BOOK NOT FOR CHILDREN: "THE SUNDAY DRIVE" (NSFW)

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SPAM POEMS 22

Good day   Consequent to the AUTHORITY TO REMIT ORDER  given to please find attached correspondence  for your attention.   All the best!   Kind regards, Dr Ameer Recommended by the Legal 2013 ...

EIGHT MORE WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM THE VALUE VILLAGE IN WOODINVILLE, WA.!

I had 20 minutes to kill, and I KILLED IT! Here are a few more bizzaroid album covers from our collective past! Please to enjoy! "World-Wide Favorites," eh? Does he mean that he himself, ITURBI, is a world-wide favorite, or that he is performing songs that are world-wide favorites? Or both? Anyway, I call total BS. ...

TODAY'S CAR CONVERSATION WITH MR15 AND MISS ELEVEN ABOUT CARS

There is a stretch of road on the way back to my house from picking the kids up from school that vexes me every DAY. Every single DAY, as the two lanes heading south merge to one lane, I always stay in the left lane, for the CLEARLY MARKED SIGN says "RIGHT LANE ENDS - MERGE LEFT." And every single day, some BONEHEADED DING DONG stays in the right lane, forcing all the cars in the left lane to brake hard to accommodate this tool's inability to interpret...

TAKE A PICTURE, WHY DON'T YOU! MY TEN FAVE SONGS WITH "PICTURE" IN THE TITLE!

As someone whose imagination has always been sparked by moments frozen in time, I really like when the subject of photography is brought into song lyrics. When done well, the composer brings across that bittersweet feeling viewing life held static while the clock resolutely ticks on; when done poorly, the song becomes maudlin or trite. Here are ten of my favorite "picture" songs, with The Kinks clearly winning the event. Please to enjoy! ...

SPAM POEMS 21

When you own a hot tub to be any different?  Many kinds regarding bath tubs are available  in the hot hot tubs  bacteria tub  we want to buy a spa product  at home  and enjoy spa everyday. Even for only a few  offer truly discounted tubs and spas  are made with a patented energy efficiency  system. ...

SIXTEEN WEIRD RECORDS FROM THE MERCER ISLAND THRIFT SHOP!

Another forage through the dusty vinyl thrift store bins, this time returning to lovely Mercer Island, Washington! I never cease to be amazed. Please to enjoy! WELL. DANG, SIR. ...

LAZIEST ANIMATION EVER: "THE ADVENTURES OF PADDY THE PELICAN" (1954)

For most of my life, I have believed that the TV show "Speed Racer" must have been the the shoddiest cartoon animation I had ever seen. When it was aired on venerable independent Channel 18 in Milwaukee in the mid-to-late '60s, I was only around kindergarten age but even then thought it was so awful that I refused to watch it. (Catchy theme song, though.) But now I believe I have found a cartoon produced and animated by THE LAZIEST PEOPLE EVER:...

I DON'T WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND: THE FIVE BANDS I HATED THE MOST WHEN I WAS A KIDDIE IN THE '60S

I can't remember a time in my life that wasn't just MUSICMUSICMUSIC. That's just the way I was born. My strong feelings for music and musicians went both ways, however -- when I was very young, I could love a band so much that my heart felt like it would explode in joy (The Beatles, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, The Yardbirds, etc.) or I could LOATHE THEM so much that I would have to turn off the radio or record player or actually get up and leave...

BIZARRE LAWN DECORATIONS FROM KMART!

Ahhh! I forgot I had these pictures on my phone from our last trip to Wisconsin, when we went to Kmart in search of cheap beach toys. We did find floaties and towels and swim goggles, but more importantly, we found these very damn peculiar outdoor ornamentations. We marveled at them long enough to be disturbed, confused, delighted, and late to the beach. Please to enjoy! I...OK, right away, I am at a loss for words. I don't understand. It's a Watermelon...

HEY SHARP EYES, HERE'S A 16-MAGAZINE-STYLE "5 ERRORS CONTEST," STARRING WIMPS!

Do you remember when 16 Magazine, the long-running (1957-2001) teen fan mag, used to run the "5 Errors Contest" in each issue? I bet you don't, because I bet you aren't as old as ME. Anyway, it was a simple premise: find the five errors in a simple line drawing of  some heartthrob, like Elvis or the Beatles or Sajid Khan...or even Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention! I was compelled to do the 5 Errors Contest in all my copies so I could...