BLOTTER 7

Haiti, The Supreme Clot, vapid freak Heidi Montag…who needs all that when you’ve got more Small Town Police Blotter news! YAY!I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, SONIllegal substance: A 19-year-old man got into a verbal argument with his mother at the Rose Hill Safeway. The man was mad because his mother would not give him $100 so he took her car keys. The man was contacted at Lover's Package by officers. The man attempted to conceal approximately three grams of...

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AT A LOSS

With the Saturday sounds of the laundry and the dishwasher humming and bumbling away in the background, I read this excellent recent New Yorker article by Meghan O’Rourke today, and wanted to pass it on: Finding a better way to grieve: newyorker.comThe topic is one that I have often studied: death, grieving, and loss. Why my fascination with such a difficult topic, I am not sure, other than perhaps I like sometimes to delve into things that don’t have easy answers. I have not experienced unusual losses in my life; in fact, I have probably been...

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OH NO YOU DINT

While Heather Mills-McCartney was divorcing Paul McCartney, did anyone refer to her as "Peggy Su...

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LINDA MC CARTNEY VS. YOKO ONO: VOCAL STANDOFF!

From Wednesday's autotune musings to Thursday's idea to Friday's completed audio/video mashup, you never know what you might find here. I've spent about a full day laughing like a hyena while making this (thanks wn for the help!) -- now you get the full-on glory of what it would have been like if Linda McCartney and Yoko Ono has sung in the studio together, and yes, those are real vocals, and yes, that's really the Beatles jamming away in the background. Please to enj...

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THE SUPREME COURT, BROUGHT TO YOU BY PFIZER

I try not to be too cynical. Conan O’Brien doesn’t like cynics, and I like Conan, so I do try not to be too rolleyes and hopelessly grim. The Supreme Court of our dear United States of AAAA-murrrica on January 21st in CITIZENS UNITED v. FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION, however, wrenches the cynic out of my core. If you are unfamiliar with this major reversal in legal precedent, here is the short version: corporations and unions can now spend all the...

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I HEARD THE AUTOTUNE TODAY, OH BOY

Today I heard this, from Paul McCartney's recent "Good Evening New York City" live album:And within the first few seconds I thought...WHAT. THE. FUCK?AUTOTUNE!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!Was I crazy? Does anyone else hear it on there? Yup. And plenty of other folks are as appalled as I am. WHY, PAUL, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?I think I know the answer, I am sad to say. It's not that Paul's vocals are so off that they need correction. He's the Pitchmeister, even in his 60s now. The answer is that the modern buying public has become so accustomed to...

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LSD SOUNDSYSTEM

Dan Deacon, satirizing his Long Island breathren while randomly and soberly channel surfing, turned into this lovely acidy video by Liam Lynch three years later. Very quotab...

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IMAGINARY MOVIE SCENE: DAVID BOWIE AND ME

[Scene: An urban coffeehouse, mood-lit and filled with ponderous art and Indonesian jazz music from the 1960s, so cool that it has no name. David Bowie sits at a small wooden table hand-carved by indigenous forest dwellers, sipping from a delicate porcelain cup a rare tea known to increase life span in rural Asian women. I enter.]Me: (spotting Bowie, and strolling over to his table) Mr. Bowie? Big fan. Love your work.David Bowie: (glancing up with...

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GET YOUR M-BEATLES-A

Pop music, once considered as disposable as a snotty Kleenex, has for the last couple of decades been increasingly examined by scholars. There have always been people who have written about rock and pop in a serious way – Paul Williams, Greil Marcus, Dave Marsh come to mind as some of the originals – but it’s taken a bit more time for such musings to infiltrate into the colleges and universities of the world past a course or two. I had the pleasure...

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NUTTY

Anyo...

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OUI THE PEOPLE: PHOENIX

It is fair to note that the French are not generally known for their great rock n’ roll bands. As the French are easily offended, I will modify that statement to say that Daft Punk are cool and Francoise Hardy was very pretty. Why France didn’t make more breakout bands I am not sure, other than rock n’ roll is not original to France and therefore perhaps was late in being accepted in that culture because France is all about original culture. So it...

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MISS SEVEN, MEET THE SOFT PACK

If I were a hunter, I would take my kids out on the weekends to teach them how to blow a woodland creature to bits and drink beer. If I were a knitter, I would teach them how to knit, then insist that they knit all their own clothes and shoes. If I were a carpenter, you would be a lady. But I am none of these things -- I am someone who goes to see concerts, so at some point I take my kids to see concerts, if they would like to go along. Today was...

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1976: WORST YEAR FOR MUSIC EVER

Ah, yes, 1976. America’s bicentennial year. Unremarkable president Gerald Ford was replaced by unremarkable president Jimmy Carter, Legionnaire’s Disease caused people to ask, “Are Legionnaires like Shriners or Masons or what?”, and Bjorn Borg and Ilie Nastase battled it out at Wimbledon, causing headband sales to soar. I turned 14 years old, and morose for the first time in my life. Other than the sinking realization that the world was not my oyster...

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CONAN, I LOVE YOU

This is my kind of guy. Brillia...

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AUGIE MEYERS

Reposted from Facebook, about Sir Douglas Quintet keyboardist Augie Meyers:Dear Fans and Friends,Our friend, legendary Texas musician Augie Meyers has been in need of a transplant kidney for some time now. He is on a regular dialysis schedule that has kept him going but time is of the essence for someone to step forward and donate a kidney for Augie.On May 30th, 2010 Augie turns a young 70 years of age and is working on some of the greatest music of his career for all of us to enjoy. Sadly, when he turns 70 he will no longer be able to be on the...

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OH, HITLER!

These corrupted YouTube clips from the movie "The Downfall" never fail to make me laugh. Bitte genieß...

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OCTOLIAR

Some people have just no problem lying like the filthy, matted, wire-worm infested rugs that they are. The cover of the current issue of rug catalog, Star magazine:Yes, that's mental case Nadya Suleman, otherwise known as Octomom there. Actually, she is the birth mother of 14 children, let us keep this in mind. It's very important for Ms. Suleman to let us know that not only is she a miracle of reproductive (and medically and ethically unsound) science,...

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WHY I NEVER SEE MOVIES: UP IN THE AIR EDITION

I dunno, man. Hollywood movies and me, we just don’t get along too well. I am told that I expect too much. Do I? Here is what I want for my 7 or 8 bucks or whatever it is now:1. I want to be entertained. I feel this is a very reasonable thing. These people are professionals, after all, and whether the movie is a comedy, drama, documentary, or a let’s-blow-stuff-up-real-good thing, I want to feel like the experience was rewarding in some way, that...

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CONVERSATION

Mr11: Did you know that it’s against the law for buildings in Times Square not to have lights that fascinate you?MissSeven: Konichiwa, Sens...

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PANTS ON THE GROUND 2

Now, I absolutely LOATHE the unbearable hen-party nightmare that is "The View," but I dig General Larry Platt. Oh god, I so hope this sweet old guy via his silly fun song just makes it clear how bloated and bagged-out American Idol really is. No Celine-Dion-bellower or boy-band-reject is gonna ever be cooler than this c...

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HOLLYWOOD 11: MLK DAY

Half of my MLK Jr. day was spent asleep, the outcome of going to bed very late, a very loud windstorm that kept me awake, and MissSeven, who came in several times to tell me that she didn't care for windstorms or airplanes flying overhead, and especially airplanes flying overhead in windstorms. I think I drifted off around 6AM. I awoke again around lunchtime to a sunny and pleasant day and cheery but hungry kids. After a shower, we hopped over to...

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