Today’s the day.

If you say one more rude, crappy, inappropriate, and/or grossly self-centered comment anywhere in my vicinity – ANYWHERE – I’m gonna tell you to f right the f off.

You are so horrible. You may be one of the most awful human beings I have ever had the misfortune to come across. For years, you have made a reputation for being an embarrassment to yourself, your family, and anything you are associated with. All you do is complain and force attention towards YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS. WAKE UP! YOU ARE DESPISED!!

You thrive on intimidating everyone, and count on the fact that most people are far too polite to tell you to shut up. You self-righteous lump of doughy narcissism. You think you are standing up for yourself, asking the tough questions, telling the truth, keeping it REAL? Here’s the real real: YOU SUCK. You can’t see that the questions you ask are off-topic, time-wasting, and dull-minded. You can’t see that your intrusive personal jabs, given to all and sundry, reveal your ugly character. You can’t see that people cringe when you are near, and avoid you like the plague. You can’t see that your OWN FAMILY looks deeply uncomfortable and ashamed around you. I pity them all, ‘cause you are a boil on the ass of life.

So, Crank, bring it today. You don’t scare me. I’ll get a standing ovation from every molecule that makes up every living thing on earth, and hopefully you’ll f right the f off.