It's time for more wonders from wanders to local thrift incubators and antique muskholes! My cellular communication device and I bring these curiosities to you free of charge, although if I had been charging for this service over the last 10 years, perhaps I would be wealthy enough to buy all these things and have my own Vintage Gawkery. Click on each photo to enlarge and please to enjoy!

Now here right away we have what I think is a glass clown, intimidating in itself, but the expression belies utter distrust in humankind along with a roiling anger, which we all can relate with, AMIRITE.

Cow has completely given up on life after a horn breakage by your poorly-behaved grabby child, and subsequent banishment to Value Village.

JIMMY. Needed braces.

Slick cross laser effect, bro.

Before there was Florida Man, there were...

I would never think of being so filthy as to comment on the title of this record.

Do you like hearing a guy sing HIGH and LOW, BOTH? Well, it's your lucky day!!

Jeff has seemingly borrowed his mother's bridge outfit for his photo here. Additional liner notes by a child, or maybe, Jeff, who knows. TAKE HIS LOVE, ALREADY!

Unable to ring own bell for help, Cow holds open her mouth in eternal pain from poorly-repaired broken leg and massive hole in back.

Donkey, despite Elvis-style mane, waits for the end.

Candleholder: "AAAAHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

The "Feelings" guy, whoa whoa whoa, in pensive glitter mode.

There has to be a song? THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS, RAMBOS!

Despite the lilac suits, my gut feeling tells me these folks are probably now proud residents of Trumpistan.

If I ever release my own album, I desperately want to recreate this photo with my own actual pump organ and me as both the sisters.

I've shown both the front and back covers of this album, as it is a masterpiece of design. Do She Want Love? I dunno, but I'm suggesting Mr. Holland invest in grammar lessons to impress his woman friend.


Let's ask the question we are all thinking: WHO BUYS RECORDS OF CALLIOPE MUSIC?

Answer: CLOWNS.

Any mother of a teenage daughter can relate to this look, which is, "Oh my gawd, lol, you are SO dumb/clueless/backwards/technologically-challenged/fashion-bereft, MOM."

Cat is not having it, is ready to bolt or claw your face off.

Dachshund is skeptical, might bite.

Cow is drunk, but called an Uber.

Conjoined shot glass figures are more drunk, so made inappropriate moves on the bartender and got hauled off to sober up in the clink.

Bear wonders if it should identify as a cat, eats hot dog.

The look when someone says something outrageously offensive but you are worried you might get shot if you say anything about it.

Lion is shocked as well, but can totally handle Offender. Mmmmmm, Offender Dinner.

And finally, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the White House!