O, Silver Bullet!
You smell of stale air, fuel,
Burnt coffee, always.

Floor lighting! Air mask!
Floatation device! In that
Event, we are toast.

Captain! Turn off the
Seatbelt sign NOW! Or I shall
Pee my pants in shame.

O, Peanuts! Pretzels!
You salty time-wasters, you.
Now I need water.

BAM! In getting up
To let child go pee, I bruise
My leg on seat arm.

The in-flight mag is
Always greasy-feeling and
Creeps me out a lot.

I drop my earbud
Case, and drop to the floor to
Retrieve; I look nuts.

Clueless passenger!
Your carry-on won't fit and
Never, ever would.

A newborn baby
Behind me the one time I
Fly first class...of course.

"Cruising Altitude?"
A misnomer. Better phrase:
"Really eff-ing high."

Almost home, green and
Water; if my bags made it,
We are good to go.