Well, I'm back home in Washington after a leisurely 18 DAY vacation in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area, the laundry is running, the dishwasher is running, Miss Eleven is back in school, and I've mostly unpacked the four fat suitcases I brought back! But I've got one more thing to do to wrap up my visit, which is bring TO YOU the last bunch of strangeness from my Florida thrift store jaunts! Please to enjoy!

Who wouldn't want a ceramic plaque of a freaked-out naked dude with a toupée battling a nasty towel-stealing Dachshund?

The very rare Yellow Death-Stare Persian.

 What is it? A nose-less nun? A Christian duck? Poppin' Fresh's grandma?

For only 40 bucks -- AT A THRIFT STORE -- you too can smell like hormonal stank!


 I'm sure this means something.

 Later, this little girl grew up and took an online quiz to see what her "Stripper Name" would be.

 And then listened to some party fun songs!

There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that "Beaux" would look...

 ...exactly like this.

 Hi, Mister Crapcake! How are you today?

What is an inauthentic polack joke? And where do you find a live audience to listen to polack jokes? And how jerky and old do you have to be to enjoy this?

 Tenderly...we ingest the hallucinogens.

Florence Foster Jenkins was the Mrs. Miller of her day, and I totally would have bought this if the sleeve had contained a record.


 This looks like a Fellini film. Perhaps it was.

Why are Richard and Patti and their two adorable children cloned and watching from afar? I feel nervous.

 How To Mustache, Part One.

 Look what just arrived in Crimea! Party time!

 It took me a few seconds to "get" this, and then I rolled my eyes so hard they hurt.

 And on a related topic...how long will it be? Uh huh huh huh huh.

And finally...EWWWW!