Once upon a time, the song "I Will Always Love You" was a quiet and pretty little ballad, written and recorded by country icon Dolly Parton in 1974.

Dolly Parton, "I Will Always Love You" The Porter Wagoner Show, 1974

Then Whitney Houston ruined it by emoting it into the stratosphere, blowing out eardrums and windows, replacing heartfelt musical sentiment with an over-the-top diva-focused performance that was not only completely devoid of any real feeling, but was also OFF-KEY on the choruses (Whitney habitually sang sharp). It's total bombast -- hardly a love song, unless you like your sig other to scream in your face. My initial reaction to hearing it was to howl piteously, like when a dog hears a siren.

Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You"

So now everyone know this song only from Whitney's version, and we are forever tortured by would-be Whitney/Celine hopefuls who think yelling like a goat on fire = good. Today, I thought I would bring you some of the worst of the weird Whitney-ized cover versions I could find, except not that one of the gross little girl screeching at herself and swearing. That little nightmare isn't getting any further YouTube hits from me, HA HA. Anyway, please to enjoy...somehow!

Sometimes, you don't need to sing a word to equal Whitney's level of ridiculous. Observe this metal guitar version. NICE DRUMS, jeez. ROLLEYES ROLLEYES ROLLEYES.

This woman has the most annoying habit of making a bizarre throat/breath catch after each phrase, like "I will always love yoooo, HHHUHCCHH." She also makes a lot of dramatic faces. Last note sounds like a slide whistle.

OH BOY! Here is a karaoke patron who apparently comes in and sings this song every week. NEVER EVER STOP, DEAR! EVER! WOW!

I think this is a guy at a school talent show. This is very weird. Very weird.

Last one goes to...ladies and gentlemen, Whitney Houston. I hope the promoter offered a refund.