Oy friggin' VEY. This is a graphic representation of my emotions while watching the Top 12 male contestants perform last night on American Idol:

WHY do I keep doing this to myself??? I DON'T LIKE THIS SHOW AT ALL!!!! I need help.

Sorry, singing dudes, but I just kept thinking, out of the thousands and thousands and thousands of people who tried out for this show, YOU GUYS are the BEST? Aw, man. Between severe nerves, song selections that could be used as general anesthesia for surgery patients, and a complete and utter lack of freshness or star quality from the 12, it was a very long and PAINFUL 2 hours, even with skipping the commercials and most of the useless awkward fill chat.

This is a horrible show and I admit to something lacking in my will and character that I watch it. I don't EVER watch TV, and I watch this? WHY? I never like the music. The judges babble stupidly with the same moronic buzzwords over and over and over and over again, not even making any sense at this point. They barely try to hide the fact that the show isn't really looking for someone great, or even good -- they are looking for someone to MAKE THEM ALL SOME MONEY. PILES AND PILES OF MONEY. Really, why bother saying "pitchy" or "dawg" or "not quite feelin' it" or "harrrible choice?" Judges, just keep your comments to either, "Yes, with that performance you may have increased your chances to be owned by a large corporate music raping machine, thank you," or "No, with that performance you have not increased my chances of installing a new 100K water feature in my garden off of your abilities. You are dead to me."

Even the early auditions busting on the weirdos and mentally-ill who try out isn't very funny anymore. Too many dumbass people are just wanting camera time and it is a little surprising after this many years in that the producers haven't been sued or shot by the many Asperger's or actual sociopaths that end up there. Ugh.

No one even struck while the iron was hot for the charming-if-possibly-addled General Larry Platt and his "Pants On The Ground." Dammit.

The day I fast-forward through the entire program is coming soon.