IDOL

All I have wanted from this season's American Idol is one thing, just one: for David Archuleta to throw up violently onstage. I know he wants to, oh, he's holding back with all his teen might. Look at that poor kid: watery eyes, trembling lips, clammy pale skin, shuffling and bowing in humbled fear. It would be the single greatest moment ever on television, made even more fabulous if his projectile vomit would spew all over Ryan Seacrest, live. Ryan would handle it like the entertainment pro he is, all serious concern for the mortified boy and a quick cut to commercial. Oh, GOD, how I want this to happen! HAHAHAHA!