Sunday at the gym on a holiday weekend, you get some strange folks.

  • A tiny Chinese grandmother who, like me, alternated fast walking and running. I was worried her little leg bones would snap, but she kicked ass for about 20 minutes.
  • A person whose gender I am unsure of. If I had to guess, I would say it was a man who looked like an aging effeminate British rock n roller, with stringy thinning longish hair, stooped and skinny. He walked by me once and I am pretty sure s/he farted. Nasty man/woman.
  • A dwarf-like man who did wild scissor kicks on the floor.
  • A woman who was so tall and reedy that she reminded me of a giraffe in a green t-shirt.
  • A big dude who swung his arms wildly on the treadmill like Pete Townshend, ran really fast for 10 minutes, then pumped his fist in the air and left.
  • A pot-bellied bespectacled nerd walking on his treadmill, reading a large technical manual and EATING CHIPS.
  • A gangly teenage boy next to Chip Nerd who looked like all his arms and legs were going to fly off at any second, hopefully hitting Chip Nerd in the head and causing him to land flat on his face on the treadmill, then the floor.
  • An extremely-thin woman who was going as fast as a person could possibly go on the elliptical, longer than the hour I was on the treadmill. I think she was not a human.
  • A woman, who when she finished with the Stairmaster, sprayed antibacterial stuff on each stair and wiped it down.
  • An ancient Korean man in a gray suit who sat and read the paper.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I imagine I look just as strange. Today I was all in black: Coolmax shirt and capris, sweatbands, cardio gloves. Anyone could see me there when “Do You Love Me?” by The Contours came on my ipod, fwapping away on the tread, dancing with my head, and pounding on the arms to the beat. What a dork! I can see myself in the mirror there, and I never look as fast or sleek as I imagine I am. I just look like some mom chugging away like The Little Engine That Could. Hardly sleek, more utilitarian.

No one talks. Everyone does their thing.

*additional visual content from cj -- hahaha, thank you!