I am super-new to the entire karaoke thing. I KNOW I KNOW, I'm the latest to the party EVER, but it was not in my universe until recently as I was busy brushing the dog and researching hot water heaters. Anyway, my birthday is coming up in a week and it so happens I am having a bit of a karaoke party at a local club. Will I actually get up the nerve to sing? Well, we shall see. If I do, I hope for the sake of everyone there and all humanity that I do a better job than these poor sods. If I don' for me on YouTube. Please to enjoy!

Why did this man attempt to sing "Green River," by Creedence Clearwater Revival, one of my favorite songs? Is it copious amounts of alcohol? Is it a burning need to shine onstage? His somnambulant, wholly-tuneless rendition has me wanting to check his pulse. "WELLLL."

Removal of old wallpaper is such a hard task. Should you have to face this, work just play this in the general area of your unwanted wallpaper and it should peel off like magic.

Why would anyone attempt to sing AC/DC? My throat would hemorrhage.

This guy has that warbly slow vibrato that was popular with some of the b-list pop crooners of the last century, but in pairing that with no sense of timing or rhythm, it sounds something like the slow mechanical failure of an amusement park ride.

Sure, girls just wanna have fun, but going on holiday and getting lobster sunburns while screech-reading a Cyndi Lauper song might not be the most fun. For us.

If you were out walking and somehow ended up forcefully stepping on a goose, over and over and over again, it would sound better than this. Holy mother of god, people.

I was waiting for his pants to fall down the whole time.

The lady is giving it a good try, but the guy, who must be her son, or I hope is her son holy crap, is lost in the 'hood.

OK, there's the singing...but then SHORTS AND SKI BOOTS.

If you ever wondered how ordinary people sing a Kate Bush song, here you are. I'm glad I wasn't there to hear this, because I feel sure I would've peed myself.

And finally, what could be better than a classic karaoke choice, Frank Sinatra's "My Way?" ANSWER: NOTHING.