Picture seeing a woman from behind or the side: she is in great shape, well-dressed in trendy fashiony stuff, great hair, and then you see her face and she is old. Like you think she’s gonna be 25 and she’s 55. The face doesn’t match and you kinda go, “oof,” even if she is decent-looking and has nice makeup and white teeth and an expensive purse and such.

So, is it better to slide into reasoned frumpery to match your face, or make everything else look hot and take the look of disappointment from people when they see you are well past youth and into the yellowing-to-golden years? And you know, even if you Botox the shit out of your face, your neck and hands still look crappy. And knees. Demi Moore fixed her saggy knees, but I think that might’ve been in her pre-nup.

I see quite a lot of these Trophy Elders, and I both admire and am a little disturbed by them. It just doesn’t seem quite exactly right for a woman old enough to be a grandma totally rocking a pair of pink terry sweatpants with “JUICY” written in big letters across her butt, but maybe I am just stodgy. Or confused. Or wishing I could wear those because I like them, or would like to like them.

The Baby Boomers are going to wring every good to the last drop ounce of youth out of themselves, that I know. It is their very identity, and to give it up means, at last, you have become The Man. There is not much worse than becoming The Man. And even when they become The Man, they are gonna say they are A Different The Man, because they are way cooler and once smoked hash with a second-cousin of Jimi Hendrix and even went to the office without a bra a couple times.

I don’t have the answer here. It was not in my pre-nup.