If calendar years were actual humans, it is sure that the Rapidly-Aging Jerk 2016 would be getting a hefty sleighful of filthy hunks of planet-destroying coal from Santa. This is why we so needed a chance to put on our holiday spangles and get together last Thursday night at Seattle's Showbox Market with local awesome musical combos Connie and the Precious Moments, Dancer and Prancer, Boyfriends, and Tacocat. If, just for a night, we could set aside our past, present, and future Scroogescapes and celebrate with our funky, punky community, inclusive and crazy and fun and kind, it would be a little seasonal magic to soothe our worried minds, yes? Well, yes! I wore my $5.00 kittens-in-Santa-hats leggings and took some photos for you, and had the best time doing so. Please to enjoy! (Click on the photos to enlarge in glorious detail and click on each Flickr link for more!)

Opening the show were Connie Merlot, Joyce, and René, aka Connie and the Precious Moments, a trio whose music could be described as cabaret from Mars: a little Quintron and Miss Pussycat, a little lounge burlesque, with a touch of Dali-esque surrealism and humor. Bless you all.

Seattle's finest holiday surf punks Dancer and Prancer celebrate their 10th year of Ventures-style Christmas instrumentals in 2016, bringing wintertime merriment to young and old alike. For this special show, Santa himself joined Pete, Ian, Bryan, and Karen onstage to play tambourine and sleigh bells. He also kindly gifted some lucky members of the audience with boxed mac n' cheese, Scotch tape, and aluminum foil! What a guy!

Boyfriends put on a confident, energetic, slamglam show complete with guest dancers, a gravity-defying Santa chapeau, and an excellent barrier-straddling move from lead vocalist Michael McKinney. I suggest you scroll back up to my first paragraph and click on their name so you can go to Bandcamp and buy their music as a gift to yourself, because you deserve it.

Seattle loves Tacocat, as shown by this packed-house performance, and their popularity is rapidly and internationally growing. This is both good and bad, for it is wonderful that more people are similarly charmed by their unique blend of pop, punk, and politics, but we miss them when they are on the road (which is a lot these days). Eric, Emily, Lelah, and Bree add intelligence, color, humor, feminism, and fun to our world, and I find that a pretty important thing. A reminder of this was the adorable little girl watching the show from the side of the stage with her mom, wearing a sparkly sweater and getting a shout-out from Emily onstage for her 7th birthday. Tacocat, through their music, tells her she is strong and equal and great just the way she is, while making her laugh and dance and shout, "HEY GIRL!" with all her might. To paraphrase John Lennon, the future is female...if you want it.

The finale brought everyone back onstage again, with an extra-special Santa Apostrophe Period, and Rapidly-Aging Jerk 2016 had a moment of redemption, warmth, hilarity, and joy.


Thank you David Price, the Showbox, and of course all the bands. Love love love.