Isn't about time YOU made yourself a record? I'm serious! Clearly, if you peruse this post and the many other thrift store record posts I have made, you may correctly surmise that ANYONE can make one! Go ahead! Haul out your powder-blue leisure suit and a slide whistle and do your thing! What's the worst that could happen? Ending up in a thrift store bin and then on Popthomology? LIVE THE DREAM! In the meantime, please to enjoy these!

"Music for dancing and relaxation," huh? If I'm looking at the dude in the lower right hand corner, it's totally "Music for puking up beer later on in the night."

I think this is really "The Roger Whittaker Worst Case of Dandruff EVER Album."

Confession: at the time this was released, I had a bit of a preteen crush on Bo Donaldson (the guy in the middle, of course) but felt terrible guilt about liking a guy whose music I thought was kinda lame. I got over the crush by realizing that the combo of the superlite pop music + the white jumpsuits were not really my things. Romance is tricky.

Well. Who knew.


Hey, wait a MINUTE... "The Haven of Rest?" "Welcome Aboard?" OMG, THESE GUYS ARE THE GRIM REAPER!!! AIEEEEEEEE!!! 

 I believe...I don't like your pee-colored sweaters, gentlemen.

 I should've bought this just to hear "Where Is The Stone."

 Ron Schmeck seems to love singing about mobile homes! MERICA!

 I'm sorry...this is not the River Boat Five. It is the River Boat Seven. GET IT RIGHT, PEOPLE!


When I first looked at this, I thought it was a clown hot dog but then I saw the clown hair and it made it even worse.

"Hey babe, let me turn down the lights while we get nice and comfy here on the couch...I'll put on The Doodletown Pipers!" (cue sound of woman leaving room and slamming door)

 Um...I'm really trying to figure out Mike here, but I'm not getting anywhere. Look at the song titles. "Gorilla Cookies and Coffins." I'm stepping backwards right...now.

Only a woman like you could be so transparent, A HA HA HA HA HA! Ha.

This one was probably great. Look at the boots on the kid on the right!

 FYI: One of the most popular and infamous posts on Popthomology in these six years was my take on "Honey." I've discovered that this song is polarizing: some people think it is the worst song ever recorded, and some people think it is a touching tribute to a dead moron. Guess which side I'm on?

 Aw, Roger and Janice and their kid dream only of a quaint shack in the woods...

...until the cosmopolitan Ralph lures Janice away to a life of nightclubbing and super-hold hairspray!! SCANDAL!

 Oh, HOW I hope the first song on "I Am What I Am" is "It Is What It Is."

I like that Loretta is looking up to the sky as a fiery apocalypse rages behind her. Watch out honey, that hair'll go up in flames fast!

And finally, a fun fact: The Dancing Tolmans are only 15" tall!