Wednesday, August 01, 2012 2 comments
…you’re going to have to answer a lot of questions.
This is verbatim from this morning.
Mom: What would you like for breakfast?
Me: How about an egg sandwich?
Mom: Sure! We’ve got cereal, too! Do you want cereal, too?
Me: No, the sandwich is fine, thanks.
Mom: OK! Do you want one egg or two?
Me: Um…two, please.
Mom: Do you want the yolks broken or not?
Me: Um…broken, please.
Mom: Do you want it fried until it’s crispy? Your dad liked that. Or not so crispy?
Me: Not so crispy.
Mom: Do you want cheese on top?
Mom: What kind? (digging around in the fridge) We’ve got Muenster, Colby, Monterey Jack, sharp Cheddar…
Me: Sharp cheddar, please.
Mom: Excellent choice. Oh! We have shredded cheddar…
Me: The sharp is fine.
Mom: Do you want it melted just a little or a lot?
Me: Um…I…I guess medium?
Mom: Do you want some ham on it?
Me: No, not this time.
Me: Um…no. Just cheese.
Mom: OK! What kind of bread do you want? There’s potato, 12-grain…
Me: 12-grain, please.
Mom: There are hamburger buns. You could have it on a bun.
Me: The 12-grain is fine, Mom.
Mom: Do you want the bread toasted or plain?
Me: Toasted, please.
Mom: How dark do you want the toast to be? Your dad liked his toast just about burnt.
Me: Not “just about.” He liked it blackened.
Mom: That’s true. I wonder why that was?
Me: I’ll just have it…light brown.
Mom: Like on 3? Or 4? The toaster setting, I mean.
Me: (slightly exasperated) Mom. Either. Either will be fine, I’m sure.
Mom: Do you want any lettuce on it?
Me: No, thank you.
Mom: What about tomato?
Me: No, not today.
Mom: Do you want me to cut it in half? Or not cut it at all?
Me: Half is fine.
Mom: I could cut it in quarters. You liked that when you were little.
Me: HALF IS FINE.
Mom: What do you want on it? Mayo? Miracle Whip? Mustard?
Me: How about just some ketchup?
Mom: Hunt’s or Heinz?
Me: (laughing) Seriously? Heinz!
Mom: I also have some leftover ketchup packets from McDonald’s! Do you want those?
Me: (smiling) Sure! Why not use them up?
Mom: Right! (pauses) Are you sure you don’t want cereal? Fruit?
Me: No, this will be FINE.
Mom: What do you want to drink? Milk? Juice? We have orange juice, tomato…
Me: I have coffee, thank you.
Mom: Do you need cream or sugar?
Me: I am good. Thank you.
Mom: Oh, that’s good.
Me: (smiling) Yes.
Mom: Can I get you anything else?