HANK WILLIAMS, JR.: POLITICAL GENIUS

I know. When you woke up, you were hoping to possibly be lucky enough to hear Z-grade country music turd Hank Williams, Jr. weigh in with his well-informed and well-reasoned political opinions. Your dreams finally came true! "FOX and Friends," the morning show on the reprehensible fake-news channel of the same name, dug deep in the hick hack pile to procure a visit with the bloated Williams, and he didn't let viewers down.


Please revel in this clip where Williams slimes on the female host, likens current United States President Barack Obama to genocidal single-balled maniac Adolf Hitler, and further refers to Obama and Vice President Joe Biden as "the enemy."




Williams smug good 'ol boy demeanor was no doubt punctured just a bit when later in the day sports cable network ESPN, based on his remarks here, decided to drop Williams' "Are You Ready For Some Football" from opening Monday Night Football, a song with a 20-year MNF tradition. His publicist, no doubt after cleaning the resultant copious stress diarrhea out of his or her pants, very likely strongly encouraged Williams to make this completely-useless spin statement, released as an exclusive to TMZ:


"Some of us have strong opinions and are often misunderstood. My analogy was extreme – but it was to make a point. I was simply trying to explain how stupid it seemed to me - how ludicrous that pairing was. They’re polar opposites and it made no sense. They don’t see eye-to-eye and never will. I have always respected the office of the President. Every time the media brings up the Tea Party it’s painted as racist and extremists – but there’s never a backlash – no outrage to those comparisons… Working class people are hurting – and it doesn’t seem like anybody cares. When both sides are high-fiving it on the ninth hole when everybody else is without a job – it makes a whole lot of us angry. Something has to change. The policies have to change.”


Yeah, yeah, buddy. I hear your "respect" loud and clear. And may I point out something to you, within your very statement?


"My analogy was extreme..."


"Every time the media brings up the Tea Party it's painted as racist and extremists..."


And may I further showcase your respectful, non-racist humanitarianism by quoting your lyrics to "If The South Woulda Won?"


If the South would’ve won we'd a had it made,
I'd prob’ly run for President of the Southern State.
The day Elvis passed away would be our national holiday,
If the South would a won we'd had a it made.

I'd make my Supreme Court down in Texas,
And we wouldn't have no killers gettin’off free.
If they were proven guilty, then they would swing quickly,
Instead of writin’ books and smilin’ on T.V.

We'd all learn Cajun cookin’ in Louisiana,
And I'd put that capitol back in Alabama.
We'd put Florida on the right track ‘cause, we'd take Miami back,
And throw all them pushers in the slammer.

If the South would’ve won we'd a had it made,
I'd prob’ly run for President of the Southern States.
The day young Skynyrd died we’d show our Southern Pride,
If the South would a won we'd had a it made.

I'd have all the whiskey made in Tennessee,
And all the horses raised in those Kentucky hills.
The national treasury would be in Tupelo, Mississippi
And I'd put Hank Williams’ picture on one hundred dollar bills.

I'd have all the cars made in the Carolina's,
And I'd ban all the ones made in China.
I'd have every girl and child sent to Georgia to learn to smile,
And talk with that southern accent that drives me wild.

I'd have all the fiddles made in Virginia
‘Cause they sure can make 'em sound so fine.
I'm goin’ up on Wolverton mountain and see ol’ Clifton Clowers,
And have a sip of his good ol’ Arkansas wine.

Hey, if the South woulda won we'd had it made
I'd prob’ly run for President of the Southern States,
When Patsy Cline passed away that would be our national holiday,
If the South woulda won we'd a had it made.

If the South woulda won we'd a had it made.

We might even be better off.



About time, ESPN, about time. Hank Williams, Jr. has the American right to be an ignorant, uneducated, hateful creep and spout his views as much as he wishes. ESPN also has the absolute right to choose to terminate a public association with a figurehead that does not represent their overall theme or values.


Enjoy cashing out those last lucrative royalty checks, dumbass, and don't choke on your grits or anything.


(photo from Colorlines)