HOW TO HANDLE YOUR CRUSHING STUDENT LOANS

From Ezra Koenig, frontman for Vampire Weekend, this hot item snared off Twitter:

"Finally paid off my student loans today. Thanks to the fed govt, Columbia, TFA, my moms, and of course the extended VW family."


Moral: Pay off your Ivy-League education years early by forming a wildly popular and quite musically-excellent indie band. Also, have good relationships with the government and your family members.

I swear, if I had known how easy Ezra makes this look, I'd be chowing down in a Princeton Eatin' Club right NOW. Of course, no other students would sit by me because I'm old enough to be their moms and I'd have a kickass steroid-ragey bodyguard with me too. SCREW YOU PRINCETON AGEIST AND RAGEIST SNOBS!

Columbia it is.