OCTOLIAR

Some people have just no problem lying like the filthy, matted, wire-worm infested rugs that they are. The cover of the current issue of rug catalog, Star magazine:



Yes, that's mental case Nadya Suleman, otherwise known as Octomom there. Actually, she is the birth mother of 14 children, let us keep this in mind. It's very important for Ms. Suleman to let us know that not only is she a miracle of reproductive (and medically and ethically unsound) science, but also was able to give birth to all of these children and seemingly erase all traces of the severe strain such expansion put on her body,NATURALLY! Why, there she is in a tiny red bikini posing for money on the cover of a gossip magazine. All those kids and her demented ego need to be fed somehow.

Let me remind you of Ms. Suleman's former size:



Now, let us restate two things we know about human skin:

1. Stretch marks are the result of the skin's rapid and/or large expansion that exceeds the tissue's ability to remain intact. These marks remain permanently on the skin although they may fade and decrease in depth over time.

2. Another effect of an expansion of skin during pregnancy or weight gain is that once you stretch the skin out to its limits, when the woman returns to a normal weight, the skin's elasticity is permanently compromised, which results in hanging excess skin.

There are certainly cases of women who have been fortunate enough to avoid stretch marks or noticeably-bagged stomach skin. This has a great deal to do with their particular genetic good luck regarding skin elasticity and slow/moderate weight gain rather than fast/huge. Octomom was not one of them. Her marks are visible in that pregnancy picture and it would be completely impossible that after such body trauma that her stomach skin would be able to be as it was prior to having kids.

In other words, there is NO WAY for Ms. Suleman to have exercised her way into that bikini, unless it is the most photoshopped picture ever taken. Don't trust my word; any doctor would be happy to confirm it. Laser, lipo, tummy tuck is what happened. Why she felt the need to lie about it, I don't know. She still would have gotten her Star cover. But she's creepy and crazy, so there we go.

Nadya Suleman, Rug.