JEANS 7

Another pleasant respite from the rain day, which always inspires me to go shopping. It doesn't really take a pleasant day; I just really like to bargain clothes shop. MissSix and Mr11's pants seem to be flood-watering these days, so I look for them as well. Children are expensive. Keep that in mind, you people who are thinking of having kids. They are really friggin' expensive, like a fancy dog that lives a lot longer than you expected and needs prescription food and plaid rain jackets and dog Prozac and special grooming. You can't just let them run around the neighborhood all naked and without their tags.

So I end up at the TJ Maxx again, and it appears to be Middle Age Woman Day there. Everyone looks a bit haggard, but has good hair. All of us are solo, focused, and move from proper section to proper section in the store, vaguely eyeing each other up. I feel confident that no one else is going to snare my goodies -- these look mainly like working women, and they are not going to be considering that hot pink tissue t-shirt with a dead-eyed smiley face with its tongue hanging out. I considered it, but I didn't get it. I have a lot of hot pink already.

It's not a kickass style day at TJ. A lot of frump about, and a lot of tired trends. I am not going along with the severely-distressed denim trend as no one wants to see this look on anyone over 25, including me. I am so not also going along with the revisit of 80s acid wash, shit was always ugly, like mold ate the pants. It occurs to me that I could buy up a pile of good $20 Levis here, get some bleach and a razor and distress them myself, and peddle them to some little hipster boutique in Seattle for a massive time profit. HMM. HMMMMMM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Anyway, I did do pretty well after all:

-- Calvin Klein black cargo shorts, $49.50 retail, I PAID $24.50

-- Free People funky grey baseball style shirt, $75.00 retail, I PAID $19.99

-- NY & Co. red camisole with a real built-in bra, not one of those mono-breast-inducing shelf bras, $18.00 retail, I PAID $7.99

-- 6-pk. low cut Anne Klein socks, retail $15.00, I PAID $5.99

-- Union Bay black fabric espadrilles with a cork wedge heel, retail $40.00, I PAID $16.99

-- Cole-Haan bronze brown sandals, retail $125.00, I PAID $49.99

A shirt and shorts for MissSix, some soap and Dead Sea Salt body wash and Bliss lotion, and socks for CouchTeen, and I check out at a little over $200. Not too shabby.

The woman at the checkout asks me, as they have to, if I want to save a billion percent by opening a TJ Maxx account today, and as always I say NO THANK YOU THOUGH. She continues and says to me, "Looks like you had a good haul today," and I reply that I agree, and that I usually have good luck here. She sighs and says, "I came in here 8 years ago to buy clothes for my grandsons and I never left." I think she is serious.

No luck on the pants for Mr11. Fortunately, unlike his brother and sister, he could give a crap about clothes and his high waters will do for another day.